FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Shiela Jackson-Lee Leaves Us All Speechless.
Recently, Congresswoman Shiela Jackson-Lee went on the air with Tavis Smiley of PBS. During her appearance she was kind enough to explain something to all those crazy conservative bloggers. “Shut up!” And while we’re all zipping the soup-coolers, we’re also supposed to lay off the racial politics.
For those of us hoping for greater detail, we are still unsure as to whether we should “Go to Hell” first, and then shut the yaps, or whether that works the other way around. However, she is handy with a totally non-racial and uncontroversial piece of advice for anyone who expects to do business with the Federal Government once Barack Obama’s new jobs bill has been passed.
She also said that if Obama’s jobs bill is passed, that contractors who “do not look like”* her need to make sure that if they get federal money, their workforce “better be reflective of those suffering double-digit unemployment.”
“I don’t consider it discrimination, I don’t consider it affirmative action,” she added.
Now before we all rush to judgment about members of Congress who are differently-able, it helps to review some prior public statements of Shiela Jackson-Lee. She claims that Venezuela is a friendly nation and a US ally soon after Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called US President George W. Bush the devil. She seems enamored with the notion that the US succeeded in The Vietnam War. Gob-smacking historical ignorance follows below.
She continued, “Today, we have two Vietnams, side by side, North and South, exchanging and working. We may not agree with all that North Vietnam is doing, but they are living in peace. I would look for a better human rights record for North Vietnam, but they are living side by side.”
No tribute to the intellectual firepower of Congresswoman Shiela Jackson-Lee would be complete without her famous visit to NASA JPL. She wanted to know if the Mars rover would have any footage of where the astronauts planted the flag before. She also drinks the other dark cola, because Pepsi, you see, has racist commercials.
Oh, and who could possibly forget….
One of Lee’s crusades as a Representative of subtropical Gulf Coast Houston has been to end what she calls the government policy of giving hurricanes “lily white” names. “All racial groups should be represented,” she told The Hill Magazine, adding that she hoped the weather establishment in the future “would try to be inclusive of African American names” such as “Keisha, Jamal and Deshawn.”
At that juncture, I realized something. I couldn’t think of anything that would describe Shiela Jackson-Lee’s mental incapacity. Depleted Uranium is dense. So is the gravity field in the vicinity of a highly-complexioned hole.* But nothing adequately serves as a metaphor for the hardness of Shiela Jackson-Lee’s head. It would score a 14 on The Moh Scale.
She wins, I have nothing left to say….
* – It could be a rough next couple of years for Federal Contractors who insufficiently resemble anatomically correct representations of the human rectal orifice.
* The Congresswoman did tell me to stop playing the race card.