FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Keep Calm and Finish Him
A Wise Man Named Han Solo Once Said “Don’t Get Cocky, Kid.”
After last night’s decisively one-sided debate, Mitt Romney looked like a winner. President Obama had the body language we would expect from one of the submissive characters in 50 Shades of Gray. So Celebrate, Celebrate Like Mad Men. Celebrate on November 7th. The day after we’ve actually, you know, won something. Having done everything I can short of treating The Hatch Act the way an Obama appointee would, I intend to get drunk and hang from the freakin’ rafters – after the job is complete.
I didn’t sleep too well last night. I was just too gosh-darned happy. Barry Bonds on the juice couldn’t have whacked last night’s hung curveball any harder. But then again, I remember my beloved Deadskins having double-digit leads against The Rams and The Bucs respectively. I believe Romney is ahead as of last night – kind of early in the 3rd Quarter.
Three things could immediately go wrong, if the GOP gets complacent and allows it to happen.
1) Obama gets real – That Obama speech I sampled yesterday had a ring to it. It was hate speech, but it was talented hate speech. Like Stroessner or Mao would have belted out. Obama does an outstanding job of playing to a crowd. Romney doesn’t. If Romney let’s Obama turn debate #2 into a pep-rally things can go back to Advantage Barack.
2)Beware The Lurking Biden – There are few human beings alive that successfully lower their performance expectations just by continuing to breathe. Joe Biden manages. The dud abides.*
Thus Paul Ryan had better be on his guard. He must win, but if he wins too big; he’ll be accused of bum-fighting one of Jerry’s Kids. What’s worse, is if he gets cocky and Biden actually *schools* him. If Biden even fights this one to a draw, Ryan is damaged. If Biden wins, the entire ticket takes a hit. What would Paul Ryan’s Dear Old Mother think if he actually lost to Joe Biden? It’s not an idle conjecture. If Paul Ryan gets arrogant, it could happen.
3)The GOP Takes It’s Foot Off The Pedal and The Dems Get Frightened Into Overdrive – Bowel-loosening fear can become a force multiplier. The MSNBC Crew, The Hollywood Twitterarti, and the fans of liberalism nationwide have just been smacked across the face with a cold, wet fish. They will come out firing all the ammo in a mad minute.
The GOP, from Mitt Romney on down to you and I, need to stand ready for the feke-storm. The Dems are demoralized, but that can turn into anger resulting in fixed bayonets. It will turn into the ideological version of hand-to-hand combat. Every vote will count. Mitt Romney 2012. That is all.
Oh, and as Ace of Spades put it. Stay Calm and Finish Them.
*- The Big Lebowski will hopefully never read that pun and send his bowling team after me!