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FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

President Obama promises to be incompetently nasty at next debate.

I’m paraphrasing: the exact line from the ABC article was “President Obama says he was “just too polite” and that voters should expect “a little more activity” next week in round two.” How is this funny? Let me count the ways:

  • ‘Too polite’ is not actually semantically equivalent to ‘walked into an ambush fat, dumb, and happy.’ Which is what happened. And while ‘a little more activity’ probably is meant to convey the meaning ‘I will try to avoid looking again like a gaffed fish being paraded through the town,’ the meaning of the former is still a little stripped-down.
  • Right now the only things that Barack Obama have going for him is that he’s the incumbent, and that enough people think that he himself is all right. Get nasty, and suddenly the only thing that Obama has going for him is that he’s the incumbent. Go ask GHW Bush, Carter, Ford, and Hoover if that’s enough*.
  • Just after that bit, Obama breezily “compared the presidential race to a seven-game basketball series in which he was ahead two-nothing and lost one game to Mitt Romney at the debate.” Bad metaphor: basketball game scores are not determined by the fans. The President should try using the example of a boxing match: of course, if you use that metaphor then what we have here is a situation where it’s the third round, the President was ahead on points… and Mitt Romney just laid him out for a seven count. Obama hasn’t lost, but he is not winning right now.
  • …You know something? Obama should ignore that last bullet point. Basketball game series? Perfect. Go with that, Mr. President. Go with that.

And, lastly? Exactly what is Obama going to say that’s impolite and not already used? So far, the campaign (usually through their surrogates) has personally attacked Mitt Romney’s religion, upbringing, wife, children, business history, political history, affiliations, mannerisms, and habits; they have accused him of committing felonies, belittled his beliefs, and suggested that – I cannot believe that I have to write this – Mitt Romney gave someone cancer. What do they have left?

Yeah, I know: Big Bird. This is starting to be such a meltdown that it’s affecting our reputation, you know? I mean, I’ve been banging the drum for years now about how important this election is and how seriously people need to take it, and apparently this is a sentiment not shared by the President of the United States. Egad.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

*Spoiler warning: it isn’t.

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