FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Dirk Diggler For President
The Government You Deserve – Good and Hard
A few months ago, I was reading RS.com and just had to unplug and take a nice walk in the woods. It was that or the barf bag. It seems we were endorsing a somewhat defective Congressional Candidate from South Carolina. A man who generally had Conservative views when he did his thinking with the head attached to his neck. That, of course, was the Infamous Mark Sanford. We were promised up and down that he had figured out the tricky difference between Appalachian Trail and Argentinean Tail. Yep, he’s back in the saddle and it’s time to assess how that’s been working out for us. With Mark all elected, every opportunistic Dem was crowing about the hypocrisy of the “Family Values Party.”
It was also a shot of Cialis to every Chest Rockwell in the NY Democratic Party. We had Anthony Weiner back for sloppy seconds as Mayor of NYC. The citizens of The Great State of New York were also told they would have to swallow Eliot Spitzer as State Comptroller. Because nobody is more qualified to take charge of a huge pot of money than a guy with impulse control that gets him nicknamed “Client Nine” at the local BDSM shop.
Bob Filner, Mayor of San Diego, we learned was a hugger, not a fighter. He’s a touching guy to work around, but his female subordinates tended to run from Ol’ Huggy Bear. It’s all just a simple misunderstanding. Once Mayor Filner makes them understand who exactly they are messing with, all these allegations will go away.
There’s no war on the Lay-dees from the Left. Not from Carlos Danger. The spin from his Press Secretary Earnest Johnson is “These guys make luuvvv, not war.” Maybe Bob Filner forgets to ask permission first, but you have to admit he’s eager. And he’s definitely not going away without a fight. Expect him to plaster a big smirking picture of Mark Sanford up the next time some journo or politico asks for his resignation.
While I don’t expect a John Edwards for NC Governor Campaign, it would no longer surprise me. Once you make an exception for “Our SOB,” you lose the moral high ground to castigate theirs. Let he who is without hookers, bimbos and bastards cast the first stone. One of the biggest problems the GOP suffers is its inability to effectively differentiate themselves from the Dems.
Our retrieval of Mark Sanford makes the renewed vigor shown by Weiner and Spitzer something we really can’t gripe about much. Again, like the Dems, we’ve basically conceded that you can always expect big-time political organizations to trade any dignity, morals or self-respect they have for one more important seat. Seats in the House and the Senate are being fought over in a manner reminiscent of Proposition Joe and Avon Barksdale fighting over drug corners. We need to do better than allowing Mark Sanfords to run for these seats. It encourages and abets the other sides’ Eliot Spitzers.