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Macy’s Racy Thanksgiving Day Parade

Annaleigh Ashford, Stark Sands, Billy Porter

The most uncomfortable part of my Thanksgiving has, for the last couple of years, been a little trick my father taught me about how to keep the turkey from drying out while cooking.  I have to make a slice between the skin and the meat and then stuff tabs of butter under the turkey’s skin.  I use an entire stick of butter and place them strategically around the turkey.  While it does make for a tender turkey, words don’t do justice to the ickiness of having to work under the skin.  This year, however, had an added level of uncomfortableness.  And it wasn’t the Obamacare conversations I was supposed to be having with my family over dinner.  No, this year it was the time-honored tradition of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

While my hands were covered in butter and bird and my husband was off doing whatever husbands do to avoid cooking on Thanksgiving, my kids were watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade.  Watching every so often from the kitchen I wondered what happened to all the floats but the kids seemed to be enjoying the music so it worked.  Until I heard the announcer say something about kinky boots.  To which my four-year old son repeated, “Kinky boots?” I had no idea what was about to come on but I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be in line with the family-friendly programming I thought I was tuning into.  Two seconds later my feeling was confirmed when a man dressed as a woman was singing front and center on my television; which was followed up by a parade of women and men dressed in overly sexual clothing and high-heeled thigh-high boots.  Ugh.  By the time I got all the butter off and found the remote it would be too late, so I just watched and prayed the kids would be too distracted to notice.  I should note that my kids don’t watch television in the traditional way – it’s a combo of playing and looking up at the t.v. every so often.  So, lucky for me, the offense went unnoticed by my children and I didn’t have to deal with the uncomfortable questions others around the country may have been having to deal with.  But what if they had noticed?  And how many kids did notice?

Kinky Boots was irritating, but not half as irritating as the response from liberals.  To put it simply, “How dare I be offended?!”  Twitter was on fire with responses from the sane and insane.  On the right were responses similar to my own:

 

And this one confirming my fears:

On the left, the responses were damning:

 

 

There seemed to be more responses from the left than from the right but, unsurprisingly, many were littered with curse words.  When they weren’t calling me (and others like me) curse words, they were calling me plenty of other names: intolerant, homophobic, uptight, bigoted, hateful, jerk…

As is always the case with the left, disagreement will not be tolerated.  BroadwayWorld.com was one of the first to post a blog noting the less tolerant watchers of the performance, with many other blogs following suit.  Perhaps the controversy would have died down but for the cast members who felt they must bravely stand up to those not interested in seeing their work.  So the next day, donning their costumes, the actors went to Macy’s for some Black Friday shopping.  “Take that bigots!”

The most amazing part to me when liberals get their feathers ruffled over my having an opinion that doesn’t jive with the collective, is the pomposity with which they assume they know me.  “Changing the world by changing my mind?”  How do you know my thoughts on men dressing like women?  I, and the many like me, didn’t find Kinky Boots to be appropriate for a Thanksgiving Day parade.  For the record, I would have been equally unhappy with half-naked women parading Victoria’s Secret style on a float.  And further, also like many others, I was unhappy that (once again) the left was trying to force a conversation I am not ready to have with my kids.  “You can’t keep them sheltered forever,” is the typical response I’ve gotten from (mostly childless) people on the left.  Well, not that it’s any of your business, but I don’t intend to keep them sheltered forever.  I understand you can’t wait to indoctrinate my children with your world views, but in the meantime, I’ll be helping them to enjoy childhood.  Their biggest concerns right now are how to ride a bike without training wheels, when will they get to have ice cream again (even in the winter they want that stuff!) and why doesn’t Mommy laugh at their fart jokes.  They’re working on loving their brother and sisters, which I’m sure many of you are still working on.  And someday, when my husband and I are ready, we won’t teach them how to tolerate others – we’ll teach them how to love others; as Christ taught us first.

See, liberals, when you reference my faith (which you often try to do) you frequently misunderstand it.  Jesus didn’t teach tolerance, he taught love; and there is a big difference.  Jesus didn’t tolerate the behavior of the prostitute but he did love her.  Someday when my girls try to dress like prostitutes, because the world has told young girls that’s how they should dress, I won’t tolerate it; but nothing they do could ever make me stop loving them.

So will I boycott Macy’s, which seems to be the new tradition when we disagree with each other?   Not anymore than I already do.  That is to say I don’t shop at Macy’s because they are overpriced and not worth it.  But I won’t be tuning into the parade anymore.  I only ever turned it on so my kids could see giant Spiderman and Hello Kitty and, despite the amount of money they bring in, they don’t get much airtime in the parade.  Because, as we all know, sex sells more and in the end money is the only thing Macy’s will be thankful for.

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