FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Obama to Youth of America: You Should TOTES Get Obamacare. I’m Super Cereal!!
Seriously. Don't be cray cray.
Obama is tuned in, people. He’s got a good bead on things. The truth is, he’s Mr. Cool. I mean the man took a selfie at a funeral. If that’s not wicked chill then what is??
In point of fact, the entire administration is cool. They’re like a bunch of little Fonzies up there. And what’s Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda, what’s Fonzie like?
Correctamundo. Cool. And that’s what Prez and the Barackolytes are. Cool.
So you can imagine their frustration, their straight up Aaargh and Doh!, that they can’t seem to get the kids today (with their facepage and their music) interested in signing up for Obamacare. Considering the entire scheme is utterly dependent on the participation of the young and healthy, this does seem to pose a Dilemma (by Nelly!).
The administration wants the young folks to be like:
But instead, they be all like:
See how hip everything is? TUNED. IN. Even their failures are super up to date and not played out or awkward at all.
In recent weeks, @BarackObama, the twitter account named after the President, operated in support of the President, run by a group formed on behalf of the President, operating as a surrogate of the President, BUT IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH THE PRESIDENT, has been posting … questionable advertising aimed at getting young people to register for Obamacare. It’s been a long and increasingly sad story told in instagrams and wanna-be memes.
Just how desperate are Obamacare supporters and surrogates to get these intransigent youths to jump off of mommy and daddy’s health plan and start propping up residents of storied Biden paradise “The Villages”? Well first, they encouraged binge-drinking and keg stands. Then they plied women with the notion of random hook-ups, because free birth control is the same thing as immunity from all consequence. Next, they moved on to encouraging yutes to yell at their uncool drunk uncles during Thanksgiving dinner. Then they took a break and let amazingly relevant ZOMG celebs like Kal Penn and Adam Levine pimp it, to appeal to the intellectual crowd. And now? Well now they’ve got a beta male in footie pajamas holding a giant mug of cocoa pitching healthcare rap sessions over the non-denominational holiday season.
Can’t you just hear him asking if the cream is from grass-fed local livestock and lamenting how many African children could be fed for the cost of just one of the marshmallows he coyly pushes about with his kitsch Amish wooden spoon beneath the comforting warmth of his Josh Hutcherson poster? This man-child is clearly a thought leader. If he can’t sell Obamacare to other wayward women’s studies graduates over a vegan snack and some ironic pot brownies they’re only eating as a gag, WELL THEN WHO CAN???
Poor Obamacarians. Betrayed by the one demographic they were absolutely certain they were uber tight with. How can they let these children of light just slip away? Bitter clingers, indeed. I mean, just Imagine (Dragons) what they’ll do next!
Well here at RedState, we didn’t want to wait (for our lives to be over), so we did some digging, and hot-diggety has it paid off. Check out this preview of the newest ad the Obamacarers are preparing to get their needy on with. This is hot off the presses people!
New Obamacare ad launching tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/DiiljmPXFp
— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) December 19, 2013
Oh snap, as the kids today definitely say all the time. That’s pretty desperate.
But I’m a generous guy, and like the government, I’m here to help. So I’ve written you Obamacaniacs a new slogan. You’re welcome. “@BarackObama: We put the Obama in Obamacare. Also the care. Oh, and free condoms. Mmmmm … something about Lady Gaga. And in conclusion, skinny jeans!”
So listen up, you doe-eyed millenials, my darlings, me droogies. Don’t h8! Registr8! After all, if you don’t, Obama’s gonna be all like:
Oh and one more thing. If you think the campaign to reach the youth of America is lame and borderline offensive, just look at how they’re trying to reach gays* (via Ace of Spades HQ). Clueless pandering much? Whats next, reaching out to women with a stirring late night appearance as Barack Obama featuring Jimmy Fallon and the Roots sing “All I Want For Christmas Is Shoes”? Because I would watch that!!
*(I’d tell you to make sure and click on through to the Kate Upton Bunny ad linked in Ace’s post, but I’m sure you can find similar content in the advertising bar below.)