FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Boko Haram, Mike Hammer and Barney The Dinosaur In Jurassic Park
Barney The Dinosaur Is Soooo Nice – Until He Gets Killed
There are a lot of reasons offered as to why Boko Haram is so mean and why the rioters in Benghazi were so violent and nasty. Let me simplify this for you a bit. They did it because as long as people like Hillary Clinton and John Kerry are allowed to make important decisions with regards to America’s Foreign Policy they can. People with no regard for civilized niceties can do whatever they want to us, anytime they’re bored.
The rest of the world looks at us. They see a bunch of over-privileged sissies, and find that our continued wealth, power and existential squeamishness disgusts them. They are thrilled that they can walk up to us, punch us right in the kisser and laugh their butts off when we sit around and whinge about it. For some of humanity there is nothing more fun and enjoyable than beating the crap out of somebody bigger that is too big of a wimp to make you stop it. We are the functional equivalent of Barney the Dinosaur in Jurassic Park.
There are some applicable lessons we can learn from reading old Mickey Spillane Pulps. In I The Jury, hard-case private detective, Mike Hammer discussed his approach to handling people who slighted his honor. “I’m gonna’ shoot that killer. I’m gonna’ shoot him the gut. I want him to die looking at what he had for dinner.” Now this is a rather non-humanistic and Neanderthal way of looking at things. It not only implies violence, but also gratuitous sadism. Decent people will feel a natural aversion to the idea of deliberately inflicting misery on even a devoutly sworn enemy.
Maybe decent people should think carefully before they enlist in any nation’s foreign policy bureaucracy. If you’re a nice person, Boko Haram will happily kidnap your daughter and pull the train on her while you threaten them with hash-tags on #twitter. In a very real sense, Americans don’t live in an accurate representation of the world. We can’t think like Boko Haram because we live a world safer, cleaner, and more fundamentally decent than anything that most of the other 7.75 Billion members of the human race are exposed to on a daily basis. We will never get Boko Haram or convince them that we all should sit down and reason together. And this brings us to a decision point regarding the savage activities of Boko Haram.
We can deal with Boko Haram, or we can choose not to deal with Boko Haram. If we choose not to deal with Boko Haram, it’s pretty much our tough cookies if our tender sensibilities get offended whenever Boko Haram gets bored, shoots up a girl’s school and kidnaps the teenagers and turns them into Crank-Whores. If treated with benign neglect, Boko Haram will operate about the way Colon-Rectal Cancer would operate if it were treated with benign neglect. A totally callous cynical realist could justify said neglect by asking “Who gives a dump if it’s not our rear-end?”
If that’s too nasty and inhumane, then you have to deal with the Boko Harams of the world. When you deal with these people, you need to be more like Mike Hammer and less like Barney the Dinosaur. Mike Hammer would not just stop Boko Haram, he would make an example out of them. Barney the Dinosaur would sing the praises of both White and Pumpernickel Bread. Mike Hammer would find who killed our Ambassador to Libya. The remains of those killers would be discovered in more than just one trash can. Barney the Dinosaur would suggest we all have cookies at Barney’s House.
Mike Hammer, as described by Mickey Spillane, is a Cro-Magnon’s Cro-Magnon. He looks at his secretary one morning and says to himself “That dame’s got a set of curves on her like The Pennsylvania Turnpike!” He has no place in polite society and won’t be at the next art-gallery opening or wine-tasting soiree. However, he totally gets Boko Haram. He knows exactly what the score is with them. You either take what they dish out or you make them crap in their boot and eat it. There is no comfortable 3rd way. Putting our caring and gentle, Progressive foreign policy up against Boko Haram is like releasing Barney The Dinosaur in Jurassic Park. It would be a short-lived exhibit. You could watch prehistoric extinction happen in real-time firsthand.