FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
The Uncivil Servants of The EPA
Another USG Agency Jumps the Mud Shark
The USEPA has become a challenging place to sniff around for the truth. It appears they’ve steadily declined in both conduct and decorum over the last decade or so of being an inbred and completely unrestrained arrogant bureaucracy. Agency professional conduct was deemed contumacious back in 2003. It then degenerated to being pornographic. We now can conclude that it has become positively emunctory in nature. An agency that can fine and jail people for pollution has employees that literally poop where they work instead of in the toilet.
Yep. The EPA’s Denver, Colorado office has genuinely hit a Rocky Mountain Low. Like Led Zepplin’s alleged favorite recipe for preparing mud shark, this is just too gross to really take seriously. Government Executive Magazine relates the most recent management challenge faced by Federal Executives in Region 8.
Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior, including defecating in the hallway.*
Oh well, what can you expect from a few bored and overpaid GS-13s? Just gotta fertilize the Old Cubicle Farm. They do it because nothing quite shows proper Civil Service professionalism quite like pooping right there in the hallway. Or maybe “Close Enough For Government Work” = Within one six-digit grid square** of the toilet bowl. It’s the new DNC slogan for 2014: Poop and Change! Either that, or the EPA is conducting a study of how exactly reverse eugenics would impact the urban work environment. Try not to step in any of the raw data.
I laugh at these fools and my jokes are puerile. This is true for two reasons.
1) It beats the, um excrement out of really taking this whole story seriously.
2) This is just the latest sign that American Civilization (if any) is going down like the Edmund Fitzgerald. (Enjoy the Decline)
Of course, it is obligatory to get the Led out if I mention mud sharks.
*-No, this isn’t from Redonkulus.com. Someone really decided to recycle a couple bags of groceries right there in the hallway.
**-100 Square Meters.