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MEMBER DIARY

Not All Wounds Are Visible, And Some Return But Never Make It Back

By: Hooah_Mac (Diary)  |  May 29th, 2011 at 02:18 PM  | 

RESIZE: AAA

Memorial Day 2011

I do not know the source of the following quote, but it has a profound effect on me whenever I ponder it – “Only one bullet, one mortar, or one roadside bomb separates Veteran’s Day from Memorial Day.”   I’d like to bend your thinking about these two days a little.  On Veteran’s Day, we celebrate those who have served on our behalf, on Memorial Day we commemorate those who served and gave their lives.

I have the distinct honor and privilege of having served 7 years in the U.S. Army Reserve so far.  I have completed two tours in the sandbox as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom and later Operation New Dawn.  This Memorial Day I will be toasting those I have known who sacrificed all in the Global War on Terror.  I think especially of SGT Kruize, who we lost in Baghdad on Easter Day in 2010 due to non-combat injuries.  I think of the 5 Soldiers in the Humvee I saw destroyed in front of my eyes.  I think of the fathers, brothers, sons, cousins, mothers, sisters, daughters and friends who will be absent from the dinner table this Memorial Day.  While much of the country kicks off the beginning of summer with BBQs and picnics, days at the lake and a three or four day weekend, many of us find ourselves caught in a vortex of emotion that is at its most intense on this, one of the most sacred days of our year.

There is a line in the narration that accompanies Queensryche’s “If I were King”.  The Marine telling of his experience states that even if he were to live the most perfect life and do as much good as possible, he still wonders if it would make up for the guilt of what he had to do for his country and for … making it back alive.

Post traumatic stress disorder, survivor’s guilt, the inhumanity of decisions and actions – both direct and indirect – that ended the existence of another human being.  Nightmares, flashbacks, jumpiness, sleep disorders, moodiness, irritability, fatigue.  Broken bones, missing limbs, respiratory illness, headaches, seizures, personality changes.   Failed marriages, disconnection from children, parents, siblings and friends, the loss of the joy of life.  Deep inside, a loneliness that cannot be expressed, because making the decisions they made, righteous though they may have been, caused a disconnect from the society of humanity.

If you know a Veteran, especially one that has been directly exposed to combat, they probably experience or have experienced some of those things listed above.  Some wounds are grotesque and horrifying to the sight, some wounds are not visible at all.  Soldiers are tough, it is part of the job description, and because of who they are and what they stand for, they will hide their infirmities as well as they are able.  As we think of those who did not return from war, also think of those who returned but may never truly make it back.

Memorial Day is a sacred day.  For those of us who breathe the beautiful and precious air of freedom, we owe a debt we cannot repay.  Let us never forget the sacrifices made for US.  Do not allow the day to be one of sadness, rather one where we revel in the freedom and joy that has been bought – just do not ever forget the price that was willingly paid.

Please consider supporting worthy organizations such as these–


http://woundedwarriorproject.org – Help Veterans recover in countless ways
http://soldiersangels.org – Let those still serving know you are here for them
http://www.militaryfamily.org – National Military Family Association , supporting Veterans, their families and their survivors
http://fallenheroesfund.org – Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund

Most of all, exercise your freedom.  Be active in politics, so that the Nation that they fought and died for remains free and true to the Constitution they swore to defend.  As we consider the Presidential campaigns beginning to take shape, remember that the primary responsibility of the person holding that office is to be Commander-in-Chief of tomorrow’s Veterans – and tomorrow’s fallen Soldiers.

COMMENTS

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  • Hooah_Mac

    Sometimes things that we can’t express in conversation can be so powerfully expressed in music. This is my “Memorial Day Mix”, the music I listen to while I think about all the things I wrote about above:

    Brothers – Dean Brody
    Arlington – Trace Adkins
    19 – Waycross
    If I Were King – Queensryche
    I Just Came Back From a War – Darryl Worley
    Chicken Fried – Zac Brown Band
    American Soldier – Toby Keith
    8th of November – Big and Rich
    It’s America – Rodney Adkins
    Some Gave All – Billy Ray Cyrus
    God Bless the USA – Lee Greenwood
    That’s A Man – Jack Ingram
    Paradise – Craig Morgan
    Where the Stars and Stripes and Eagles Fly – Aaron Tippin

    Every one of those songs has special meaning to me, and I am amazed at how so few words within the constraints of rhythm and rhyme of music can convey so much.

  • http://jeffemanuel.net Jeff Emanuel

    My personal favorite is the Special Operations Warrior Foundation.

  • lineholder

    I have plans tomorrow to go visit two friends who came back alive but lost parts of themselves physically in the battle. Wonderful human beings, struggling to make the adjustment, never regretting the part that they played in the fight, but now facing a very different kind of internal war.

    I can never find the words to tell them how grateful I am, and any time I’ve tried to do that they get flustered by it, as if the changes that have taken place in their own lives are nothing in comparison to those who didn’t make it back alive.

    To any of our military reading this, just know that in the heart and mind of this single citizen, you are and always will be loved, respected and appreciated.

    You guys are my heroes, who inspire me more with each day that passes. Thank you.

  • http://www.unifiedpatriots.com itrytobenice

    I’m with Patton: “It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather, we should thank God that such men lived.”

    I thank you and your fellow soldiers for your service and pray for your health and victory over everything and everyone that would come against you.

  • tex41lb

    This article touches upon a badly ignored reality. There is a higher incidence of the loss of use of ones life from mental damage after battle induced trauma, where the body remains in part or in whole functional, then loss from death.

    My wife is a former mental health nurse, most recently with the Veterans Administration. Now retired she still suffers from just the experience of having seen and worked with the mental illness war can produce in the strongest of military personal. Her frequent need to talk about the men and women she treated is a mild reflection of what they are suffering. PTSD is currently in vogue for the sophisticated to bandy about knowingly in social conversations with one another. Such casual sophistication is an insult akin to the ostracism experienced by a previous generation of veteran.

    Awareness is needed, it just needs to be substantive. Greater awareness leading to active support of those who now live a life altered forever by the violence seen and experienced in service to our country is merited.

    My younger brother served two voluntary tours as an air evac medic. His job, exiting a helicopter in the middle of combat to treat and pickup wounded for evac to a triage center. Think of your local paramedic in your hometown saving lives with their training and skill as they treat and transport.

    Now add the detail of every enemy gun in the arena being targeted on the hated helicopter, its crew and medic in hopes of killing all of them. To the Vietnamese a red cross was a target.

    My brother, like so many others arrived home with a silver star, two bronze medals and a handful of metal pieces of bullets, some of which had hit his gear or helmet, a few which had hit him, and others which had hit his wounded patients.

    He also arrived home to ostracism of cowards who treated him as the enemy.

    There followed an inability to sleep, nightmares, the total inability connect with anyone or to function in a normal society. For years he was lost, to a degree from drugs, but more to an inability to hold a job. It took 30 years if self-treatment, the love of a wonderful woman who could accept him as he was while never losing sight of what he could become, He also benefited from help through the VA and the help of fellow vets. And finally help came from the shear press of time passing allowing him to slowly regain his life. He is one of the fortunate few to have recovered life from a mental abyss.

    Today after 30 years I have my brother back.

    Please be aware of and responsive to the needs of those who came back but who now often silently suffer a real loss of some degree of their life.

  • rightwingmom52

    And thanks to all those you mention. My flag is flying, and we are having a bbq tomorrow, but it is a special day for my family as we remember my father-in-law who served in the Pacific in WWII. We lost him 3 years ago, and throughout his life, he indeed suffered from some of the trauma and guilt you describe. My uncle is a Vietnam vet who also had trouble adjusting to life after combat plus the indignation at how he was treated upon coming home. Many other vets in my family, all of whom were just everyday men who became extraordinary to me simply because of their service, along with the millions of others I’ll never know.

    May God bless the American soldier and their families and may we never take them for granted.

  • acat

    Reminded me of an uncle of mine who made it most of the way back…

    Mew