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There’s a software glitch in the Candi-bots, they’ll all need to be re-programmed.

Candi-bots have a “primary” function (pun inteded :D ).  They are programmed to promote their candidate.  They will take all action necessary to spam, spread the news, post information, and attempt to persuade others that their candidate is superior, while all other candidates are inferior.

Candi-bots serve a purpose in society, they tend to cause the rest of us to pause, and think about the generalizations, the assumptions, and even force us to take into consideration refuted claims that others have made on their candidate.

Candi-bots generally re-act to news and information with rapid responses (sometimes not well thought out) but a good candi-bot knows they have to get ahead of a narrative to corral emotions for peak conversion.

Candi-bots rarely have feelings, unless you’re bagging on their candidate, then they may re-act in several variations of bad behaviors. Often times certain words or phrases, that have proven to be effective negative monikers, trigger a programmed response, and herein lies the glitch.

Candi-bots tend to be passionate about only one thing, and that’s winning souls to their candidate.

Now some may suggest, this isn’t a design flaw, but a feature.  No, it’s a flaw… the reason it’s a flaw is because no candidate can overcome the first impression of an idiot that swears fealty, devotion, and love for another human being, without acknowledging their faults.  If it were only 1 first impression, it’s possible it could be overcome by having another pitch be made by an intelligent, reasonable, and even principled individual, that offers devotion not due to some illogical political-crush, but because they can point to the candidate, and say THAT person best represents me.

So why am I bringing this up now?  Well let’s put it this way… Ron Paul* is not Jesus (not that that matters to non-christian libertarians, but you know what I mean, there is no political salvation in Ron Paul’s presidency**, so just stop with the ceremonious praise of a man, he’s not a god).

So is anyone working on a firmware update for the general election regardless of whom the nominee might be?

*If you feel the beginning of this diary might have been directed at you even though you’re not a Ronulon, you should know that technically you could put any candidate’s name here.  So just stop being a bot.

**There.  Now nobody can accuse me of not giving Ron Paul fair consideration.

COMMENTS

  • acat

    As a techie, I do have to point this error out.

    Hardware = chips and wires and stuff you can touch.

    Software = programs and data stored in bits and bytes on easily changeable media, punch cards, CD-ROM, USB device, hard drive, or other easily altered device. (easy is relative)

    Firmware = a special case of hardware-specific software that’s stored on chips that can, through special procedures, be upgraded (but rarely is because it’s always a pain, and in most cases it’s easier to work around the bugs…)

    Wetware = the grey stuff between the ears of the end user.

    In the case of a Candi-Bot, especially the Paulistines, the error is clearly in the wetware. (unless you’re prepared to argue that some of them are actually internet-aware ELIZA software…)

    Beyond that, you’re right on – one of the defining marks of a candi-bot vs. a legitimate supporter, to this cat’s way of thinking, is whether a rational discussion of faults is possible. If not, bot.

    Mew

    • http://edgeinducedcohesion.wordpress.com nathanalbright

      …though I found there are a lot more anti-bots than pro-bots that I have seen, perhaps a sign of our general negativity right now.

      • acat

        It’s easier to destroy than to build up, always has been. I attribute many of the anti-bot activities to just that laziness.

        Mew

    • jakeofalltrades

      AKA Problem Exists Between Keyboard and Chair (PEBKAC)

      • acat

        or user id10t … yeah. I’ve done phone support.

        Mew