When you get tired of crying, the only thing left to do is laugh. Congress is fertile ground for humor of course, but you gotta hand it to big porn, they certainly have stimulated the funny bone regarding stimulus packages. The pun environment is target-rich indeed, and if you want to see some of the funniest, check out this slogan contest over at #dontgo.
For me, I can’t stop laughing at the idea of Larry Flynt and that Girls Gone Wild dirtbag writing a gimme letter to congress. What would that sound like? “Dear Congress, You know, I never believed these bailout request letters were real until it happened to me. I never thought I’d be writing a letter like this …”
But look, don’t lets limit ourselves to Porn bailout jokes. The entire bailout fiasco from start to finish is begging for a bit of satire and mockery. Please feel free. Puns, slogans, and graphics (as long as they’re not graphic) .. even youtube vids. Let’s see what you’ve got … err, so to speak. I have to say it: I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours.

If that picture were a real porno...
Amy Miller Friday, January 9th at 2:47PM EST (link)I might just have to watch it, just for the sake of getting Reid and Snoop Dogg in the same room.
“stimulated the funny bone” FTW
~A
Tweet Me, It’s Trendy!!!: @amy_m_miller
“Ah, yes, it’s the apocalypse alright. I always thought I’d have a hand in it.”
One can argue
JustLeaveMeAlone Friday, January 9th at 3:43PM EST (link)that the “adult video industry” has been the real creator of the Internet. Let’s be honest; at least 50% of all WWW innovations have come from the demands of that industry.
And heck, Larry et al pay taxes too. So they are as entitled to a bailout as anyone. Some might argue that an honest pornographer is preferable to a dishonest investment banker. Or a UAW executive.
If I get to vote where my money goes (to dream the impossible dream, huh?), I’ll take the AVN folks over the UAW folks any day. Better the sleezeball you know….
“To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.” Thomas Jefferson
Porn "Stimulus" Package.....Please
olsmithie Friday, January 9th at 3:45PM EST (link)This stuff writes itself!
No Regards!
Ok, I'll write the lead under the headline;
Erick Brockway Friday, January 9th at 3:59PM EST (link)With revenue numbers flaccid, the Porn Industry is seeking Financial Viagra from Capitol Hill in the form of yet another bailout. While some are calling for fresh blood at the tip of the industry, the idea of yet another call for taxpayer money will not cause the erection of any statues on the lawns of the GOP.
Financial numbers continued to slide down the pole at market close yesterday, although the bailout, if received, could provide a condom of protection from possible financial doom.
Note to lefties;
“Don’t be afraid to see what you see.”
Ronald Reagan
Join the RedState Strike Force
Chip in to get rid of “Babs” (Yes ma’am) Boxer.
You're so bad!!
olsmithie Friday, January 9th at 4:26PM EST (link)(;>)
Regards
35 week old fetus outwits Joe Biden, suggests Conservatism is hereditary (open thread)
Uma Richie Friday, January 9th at 3:54PM EST (link)By being born three weeks early on New Year’s Eve, our latest addition (number 4) scored us a heathy tax deduction. Even at her tender age, she seemed to comprehend that paying taxes is not patriotic.
All I can say is, “That’s my girl!”
……………………………………………………………………………..
“We hold our heads high, despite the price we have paid, because freedom is priceless.” -Lech Walesa
Awesome!
Erick Brockway Friday, January 9th at 4:03PM EST (link)A teeny RedStater! Congrats!
Note to lefties;
“Don’t be afraid to see what you see.”
Ronald Reagan
Join the RedState Strike Force
Chip in to get rid of “Babs” (Yes ma’am) Boxer.
Congrats! Pictures, we want baby pictures...
olsmithie Friday, January 9th at 4:30PM EST (link)Oh, wait, don’t post them in the same thread with the porn jokes. But it would be nice to see the cutie sometime.
Regards
Anyone think Obama's latest $475 billion spending proposal will be enough?
6eorge Jetson Friday, January 9th at 4:09PM EST (link)Obama Stimulus Plan
Need  Allocation
Popcorn $475 billion
I mean, I think I could eat $475 billion of popcorn myself watching this circus.
That would be To Go
Isn't this latest pork bill right up there
10ksnooker Friday, January 9th at 4:34PM EST (link)… with the liberals saying we want everyone to own a home whether you can afford to pay for it or not.
I wonder, doesn’t any Democrat in the country know what drives the American economy? One word, it’s the entrepreneur. Incentivise the the entrepreneur and you will get prosperity.
You want more of something, say jobs, cut taxes on jobs producers, you want less of something, raise taxes on job producers.
Quote me — Obama’s plan will produce the longest recession short of the great depression in US history with his nonsense. I doubt Obama even has a clue what he is doing.
Hey - You "male enhancement" spammers out there!
Read Chesterton in New Improved Jersey Friday, January 9th at 4:55PM EST (link)I have a new advertising slogan for you compliments of the democrat congress:
YOU’LL BE TOO BIG TO FAIL!
“…my system presupposes that men who govern themselves will govern their children.” - G. K. Chesterton, “What’s Wrong with the World.”
Sorry to interrupt a good porn thread with AGW spam...
Vladimir Friday, January 9th at 5:03PM EST (link)…but I couldn’t resist.
After years of being needled that “weather is not climate”, I noticed the newly-reincarnated Weather Channel (”All Global Warming, All the Time!”) quoting record temperature statistics as evidence of AGW.
Well, if they can do it, we, can too.
AccuWeather News Headlines: Coldest in Years Plains to East Coast
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is generally adopted. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Just a reminder to all you Yankees ...
Vladimir Friday, January 9th at 5:06PM EST (link)… that clean, efficient, abundant natural gas remains your best energy value!
There is no opinion, however absurd, which men will not readily embrace as soon as they can be brought to the conviction that it is generally adopted. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Alaska AGW Update: Minus 80F in Tok
Achance Friday, January 9th at 5:09PM EST (link)The all time North American record low is in the low minus 80s. I haven’t kept up with it lately, but it used to be Minus 81F, set at Snag, Yukon Territory a couple hundred miles east of Tok. Tok, or Tok Junction is where the Alaska Highway intersects with the Richardson Highway. If you go straight on the AlCan, you go to Fairbanks. If you turn left, you go to Valdez or take the Glenn Highway to Anchorage. I’ve been through there in winter a few times, but it was only in the minus forties, so nothing exceptional.
In Vino Veritas
It's in the mid-50s here in the Heartland today
bs Friday, January 9th at 5:15PM EST (link)but I just looked at next week’s forecast, and they’re calling for lows below zero by next Thursday.
Bring on the global warming.
Decorum is fo’ suckas - unless it’s one of the good guys
It will take this much cold air to counteract the hot air in DC right now
woodsman Friday, January 9th at 5:19PM EST (link)I think it would be fitting if the inauguration was the coldest on record.
Just a another reminder to all you Yankees ...
izoneguy Friday, January 9th at 5:08PM EST (link)It is 75 in Dallas today…windows open.
No natural gas was used while writing this memo.
That is all.
“When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.”
Thomas Jefferson
Government spending does not create prosperity...
Patrick_Murdock Friday, January 9th at 5:45PM EST (link)Government spending does not create prosperity. If it did, the Soviet Union would have won the Cold War. ~Steve Forbes
http://www.patrickscartoons.com
It does if you're the one the money is being spent on. nt
Achance Friday, January 9th at 5:58PM EST (link)In Vino Veritas
Frankly, I'd be surprised...
Snake45 Friday, January 9th at 5:47PM EST (link)…if Congress DIDN’T bail out the porn industry. Professional courtesy and all that, don’tcha know….
I 'm a Yankee by birth
JamesonLewis3rd Friday, January 9th at 6:04PM EST (link)but I washed my car today in my Arlington TX driveway and [cue player piano] the skies are not cloudy all day…..
Genetically, I’m a Buckeye from Columbus.
But, anyway, I find that self-stimulus-mania mockery–in its purest form–is a difficult task in that I would have to sink to below even their level in order to perform said mockery with any artistic mastery. Therefore, I am less into mockery these days (except as darn good fun) and more into striving to consistently promote and magnify the truth in the hope that maybe even just one Leftist will see the light and repent.
Now, one requisite is to perform this feat without using words like moron, idiot, imbecile and so on; I believe I can handle that. However, I’m having a hard time accomplishing the requisite stifling of my usage of certain words like Godless, traitor, degenerate, liar, racist and others because these words are allegedly offensive to someone, somewhere. And the reason I’m having a hard time with it is because I, personally, am not offended by the truth; in fact, I cherish the truth.
In closing and in the spirit of full-disclosure: I don’t use those words (or their equivalents) lightly or very often. I don’t bandy them about, so-to-speak, but they are real words that describe the results of actions taken to their logical conclusion. They (the allegedly offensive words) are potent and should not be used to characterize someone’s motives, that’s Someone Else’s job.
Thank you
Hebrews 11:8
Jeremiah 33:3
It's getting Hot in here....
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 6:09PM EST (link)Oh, my
E Pluribus Unum Friday, January 9th at 6:22PM EST (link)I don’t know how to respond to that. And yet, something like that cannot go unresponded to.
Carthago delenda est
Do your conservative t-shirt Christmas shopping at EPU Gear. Save the conservative muse, save the world.
I'm tellin' Moe on you
bs Friday, January 9th at 6:23PM EST (link)That’s just wrong.
Decorum is fo’ suckas - unless it’s one of the good guys
Ok...I was kinda proud of that one...
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 6:33PM EST (link)Email me for it……unless I can put it back?…
Oh, I was KIDDING!
bs Friday, January 9th at 6:42PM EST (link)I should have made that clear!!
Put it back, man.
Decorum is fo’ suckas - unless it’s one of the good guys
Cool....
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 6:45PM EST (link)np
I have some time to kill....I'm going to put it back up..
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 6:44PM EST (link)so …is making fun of porn OK….and making fun of Gay porn is not OK?
I think it’s funny but I’ll take it down if required…
You just got it wrong is all.
itrytobenice Friday, January 9th at 7:07PM EST (link)Dontcha know Clinton was black?
The problem with America is stupidity. I’m not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Clinton is the black guy...
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 7:27PM EST (link)for this movie they had to put the black on the white and the white on the black….plus it looks better
OK, that just proves it.
itrytobenice Friday, January 9th at 7:50PM EST (link)The differences between the races is an artificial political ploy to cause trouble between us.
If I can’t tell the difference between those two men, after an *intensive* investigation (intensive, I’m telling you!!) then there’s no black or white. There’s just brown studs and brown non-studs.
I’m just grateful that you put Gore’s young, unbloated face on it. The other one would have just been *wrong*.
The problem with America is stupidity. I’m not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
What can you say about that picture....I mean really what?....anybody?
JadedByPolitics Friday, January 9th at 9:13PM EST (link)You are a sick man speciallist and I just love it! I hope your liberal wife appreciates your insanity
Whoever has his enemy at his mercy &
does not destroy him is his own enemy
just so everyone knows..
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 9:26PM EST (link)jaded has seen that Albill pic before in other compilations….
and now that you mention it…I was fighting for conservatism…over dinner..
My Republican boss is married to a huge liberal....
JadedByPolitics Friday, January 9th at 10:06PM EST (link)I don’t know how you do you I couldn’t take it…..he says she is like a zombie when it comes to Obama she doesn’t seem to notice anything not even the story about him opening channels to Hamas when she is Jewish she just thinks that cannot possibly be true!
I would totally not be with my husband if he were not as hardcore conservative as I am hell we would kill each other
Whoever has his enemy at his mercy &
does not destroy him is his own enemy
This is why subsidies are wrong...
Fred Maidment Friday, January 9th at 6:21PM EST (link)…for that’s all a “bailout” really is: A subsidy to a politically acceptable and popular business.
If Automobiles get a bailout, but porn does not, then the government has chosen which industry is of value and which one is not. They can do the same thing with other industries, just as they have done with ethanol, mining and metals, shrimp fishing and farming, milk production and dozens of other industries.
Even individual businesses can be chosen over others, as we choose Bank of America and CitiBank over Haven Trust Bank.
Indeed a few years ago in the Southwest, a milk producer that did not participate in the Government’s milk pricing controls program was virtually regulated into bankruptcy. Food costs more because corn is in almost every food we buy, and so much corn is being diverted to ethanol production that its cost on the open market skyrocketed.
As we see, because government chooses winners and losers instead of allowing the market to choose, everybody loses.
How to Start a Business - Fred’s News
Follow Me on Twitter
“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”
- - Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
Point your eco friends to these sites - would you rather drive or eat?
izoneguy Friday, January 9th at 6:26PM EST (link)Study: Ethanol Production Consumes Six Units Of Energy To Produce Just One
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/03/050329132436.htm
Ethanol Fuel from Corn Faulted as ‘Unsustainable Subsidized Food Burning’
http://healthandenergy.com/ethanol.htm
“When the government fears the people, there is liberty. When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.”
Thomas Jefferson
Don't forget that sugar...
Fred Maidment Friday, January 9th at 6:37PM EST (link)…is by far much more productive in producing ethanol than corn.
Unfortunately, most sugar is made overseas. Hard to buy a constituency there. Better to enact a tariff to make corn competitive and win all those ag-industry votes.
How to Start a Business - Fred’s News
Follow Me on Twitter
“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”
- - Thomas Jefferson, to Archibald Stuart, 1791
Open Thread! FOX NEWS Censors McCain
olsmithie Friday, January 9th at 6:41PM EST (link)Aproxx 6:37pm Cavuto is interviewing McCain, Mac is talking about reservations having same people that caused the housing crisis in charge of rescuing housing,
Just as Mac starts to say Barney there was a really poor edit and you heard no more about the cause of the Housing crisis.
Believe it or not, FOX doesn’t apparently want the ire of Barney Frank and Chris Dodd on their heads.
If FOX is bowing to the socialists, we are in really deep .
Perhaps someone with tivo could review this. If it had been a really good edit, we would not have known FOX is cleansing the broadcast.
I am really surprised, but will not trust Cavuto or FOX until something develops.
Regards
Two good pieces of news on the dying dead tree media....
JadedByPolitics Friday, January 9th at 9:05PM EST (link)http://www.upi.com/Business_News/2009/01/09/Sun-Times_Media_to_close_12_newspapers/UPI-54671231525253/
http://www.startribune.com/business/37349399.html?elr=KArksLckD8EQDUoaEyqyP4O:DW3ckUiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUUF
Whoever has his enemy at his mercy &
does not destroy him is his own enemy
i know..
$peciallist Friday, January 9th at 9:10PM EST (link)you hate that pic up there…..lol……I owe you one
Media job losses
Scope Saturday, January 10th at 8:41AM EST (link)I understand that in the latest unemployment reports, 28,083 of the job losses were in the media industry. We need to keep working to get that number up.
America getting stiffed...
CJB68 Saturday, January 10th at 8:40AM EST (link)Wealthy libertines get “free” handouts thanks to tax-paying suckers…
Delusional and Arrogant. The 2008 Democratic Presidential Ticket.
Open Thread: Cloture Vote 66-12
olsmithie Sunday, January 11th at 2:18PM EST (link)nt
Bernie Madoff, my hero.
mbecker908 Sunday, January 11th at 4:36PM EST (link)From Crain’s New York…
Highlight mine.
Thank you Bernie. I hope you get at least an occasional cup of cool water in Hell.