1 In those days, Barack Obama had just completed his census, and driven men slightly thicker than a turnip to comment on matters they little understood. 2 And as was the custom in those days, a thickie named Superheater journeyed to the comment boards at RedState, his father’s home, there to make not one, but two inane comments, Kowalskied upon each other. 3 And with him he brought sentences that were pregnant with stupidity, but not with meaning, because he had not known things with meaning in his time.

4 And with those sentences he journeyed from thread to thread, looking for a place to rest, for being dim is hard. 5 And finding no respite, he elected to call another human being an insect, and then a traitor, for he had not known a dictionary in his time either, nor had he read the posting rules of the place in which he attempted to rest.

6 And when he finally came to rest, he found there waiting for him a shepherd, with a long crook; and with that crook, the shepherd, who had been retired from culling five-legged mutant sheep from the flock, gently drew to him Superheater, and spoke. 7 And he said, “Do you not know that your behavior is beneath low, and is unsightly in the gaze of the most high? 8 For unto you has been given the words of a Pejman, and regardless of how you would disagree with those words, below the very comment box in which you entered your thoughts, the words, ‘Be respectful, or be banned. No Profanity.” appear.’ 9 And not once, but twice, you violated this rule; and yea, from Dan even unto Beersheba, anyone with half a brain knows what those words mean.” 10 And so the shepherd spoke, and then lopped off the idiot sheep’s head, because the sheep was not beautiful in his sight, but spavined and, in case this was not clear, was pretty darned thick.

11 And the people rejoiced, and then forgot about the entire thing; for the way of Man is forgetfulness, especially when the deeds of cretins are behind him.