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FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

Transactional Analysis of the Act of Surrendering Virginity

In regard to the virginity-for-sale story recounted below by Paul: this is really nothing but the application of modern technology to a time-honored process that has been part of human culture and anthropology since our ancestors lived in trees. It’s a dowry.

Now, it’s important to understand the extent to which modern society has devalued women. Throughout history, the provision of virginity was accompanied by an immediate earnest-payment, together with a commitment to support the young woman in question for the rest of her life.

But this transaction, if the news reports are to be believed, has so far inspired a high bid of only about $3.7 million. That’s a fraction of the amount needed to support your average young female through a lifelong obsession with clothing, shoes, large houses, personal trainers and expensive travel.

But put aside that the transaction is being performed at an undervaluation. There’s a much more difficult and important question:

Should the monetary value recovered in the transaction be taxed as ordinary income, or as a capital gain?

We may be reasonably assured that the value being provided by the young woman is not contained in her labor. After all, she purports (and doubtless will be contractually obligated to medically establish) that she is in fact a virgin. Definitionally therefore, she’s inexperienced in the sexual arts, and her sexual labor must thus be accorded a minimal value.

On the other hand, the attractiveness of her virginity to the prospective buyer, arises principally from the fact that she has preserved it intact for some period of time, certainly an undertaking of no small difficulty in today’s typical university milieu.

It may thus be effectively be modeled as a long-dated zero-coupon security, callable by the issuer. Such securities increase rapidly in value as the maturity date approaches, and the spread to the relevant risk-free rate decreases. (They “ride down” the yield curve.)

As always, there is a standard amount of credit risk (she may default at the last minute) and market risk (she may not be very good). These risks can probably be hedged with a credit-default swap of an appropriate maturity date, although it would need to be carefully stipulated exactly what is to be delivered by the third-party swap issuer, in the event of a default.

Now we’re ready to approach the critical tax question. Even though the local jurisdiction may try to apply a sales or use tax, the fact remains that the act of surrendering virginity represents the liquidation [sic] of a long-term asset. In economic terms, it’s the realization of the latent value of the virginity, rather than a work performed for hire.

Therefore, it’s a capital gain and should be taxed accordingly. QED.

COMMENTS

  • Tbone

    so to speak, and then invest the money from there. The concept of also screwing the government is not without merit in this matter.

  • Skanderbeg

    Naw, blackie, let’s give the lass credit – as per recent financial “innovations,” she’s just created a new asset-class.

    Her genius is to put the *ss in “asset class”….

  • streetwise

    from the buyer’s perspective

    - which depreciation schedule is appropriate for this asset class?

    - and can legal costs (consulting, prenup, divorce, child custody negotiations) be expensed immediately or must they be included in cost basis and amortized?

    • streetwise

      Can it be anything other than more prosperous than 2008. Wait! Don’t answer that! I’d rather not know.

  • Dencal26

    3.7 Milliion is not a large sum of money. Wall Street just screwed us for 350 Billion with another 350 Billion on the way. Now thats an expensive screwing.

    Perhaps we can just give her 3.7 Mil from the TARP fund.

    • Francis Cianfrocca

      …then logically you have to distribute it across maybe 200 million adult taxpayers. (The women count, of course. The law prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender.)

      So what’s it worth to you have have a 1/200 millionth share of a piece of tail? Even if (to use the nascent terminology of non-normal statistical analysis) it’s a long, fat tail?

      We’re in serious wasting-asset territory here.

  • peg_c

    Just a lot of tasteless jokesters who to a man are obsessed with virginity and don’t know why. But an awful lot of young men are angry at women and disdain marriage, and it is because women devalue themselves that men now devalue them.

    Paul, thanks for some very interesting and timely points.

    • Jaded

      It’s ok once in while to let men have their outlets and there is nothing NEW in devaluing women whether women devalue themselves or not. Teen pregnancy and or sex and selling oneself as a woman is as old as Jesus so it’s not new it’s just more widely viewed in a 24/7 society.

      Men making jokes are not new we just see it more obviously in a 24/7 society…..BUT I must say that it doesn’t bother me as a woman because I don’t live in a PC world (thank goodness) I think when I make jokes about liberals at work they are sometimes quite crass and they might be women and or men and ususally both so I cannot get up in arms about men making fun of this and or Mary Carey the porn start showing up on Fox Business to push for a porn bailout!

      If a woman cannot respect herself WE can’t make her and NO ONE should give her what she cannot give herself!