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Next Year’s Headlines… Today!

What will the top headlines of 2010 be? What headlines would you like to see? The Washington Times wants your ideas, and they’ll publish some of the best ones on New Year’s Day. Head over to the Times for more information:

We want your help with our New Year’s Day editorial. We’re looking for the headlines conservatives would like to see in 2010. The headlines can be serious, funny, or ironic. It is your choice, and we will credit your submission if it is used in Friday’s paper. We’ll post the best of the rest here. Simply place your suggestion in the Water Cooler comments below or go through Twitter and use the hash tag #2010headlineswehopefor.

Or if you’d like, put your headlines in the comment section below.

COMMENTS

  • Tbone

    What?

  • stixxxnstones

    GOP TSUNAMI OVERWHELMS DEMOCRATS
    Conservative Wave Claims Obama, Biden Senate Seats

  • RedBeard
    • scarlos

      “Worse is technically Change”

  • itrytobenice

    Health Care Reform Dies in Senate After Constituent Revolt

    Insiders now say there is no hope for health care reform in this Congress. GOP House and Senate members united in opposition, siding with 63% of American public who believe that the government has no business imposing itself in private health care decisions.

    As part of the failure, it is now apparent that the government is going to have to crack down on the ability of illegal aliens to demand free health care by showing up at American emergency rooms expecting and receiving free health care.

    I couldn’t help myself. I went ahead and started writing my dream article as well.

  • scarlos

    “Scientific consensus reached on newly discovered Man-made Global Cooling trend; Al Gore receives second peace prize for efforts to alert public of the danger of a cooling planet”

  • http://www.criterionchemical.com Chemical Sam

    Israel insists “sheer coincidence” that Yom Kippur was yesterday.

  • achans

    Hilary Clinton Announces bid for Presidency

    Vice President Joe Biden Resigns over comments, who will Obama select now that Republicans control the House and Senate

    Rangel, Pelosi, Plead Guilty

  • throwback59

    leaves me witless:

    Obama’s real birth certificate found, Biden chokes on foot in mouth, Pelosi’s face cracks, Bryd rejoins Klan, Hillary leaves Bill, runs off with Geithner,
    Gates sworn in as president

  • djemi
  • billyd

    That as well as “Unprecedented mid-term voter turnout says no thanks to Obama’s Change” “Democrats crushed at the polls, Republicans take control”

  • JadedByPolitics

    ……….

  • Common_Cents
  • bobojake
  • bobojake
  • Tbone

    Well, it’s not like they have actually been looking for a Christian church, is it?

  • Tbone

    Of everyones but his.

  • Tbone

    which he has appointed from his 7 extra states.

  • Tbone

    Sorry, too easy.

  • Tbone

    Tommy Lee Jones, Lookalikes.”

  • Tbone

    Let them deal with his ramoras.

    • mbecker908
      • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit
  • Tbone

    Says office is now all hat, no Catholic.

    Hey, it’s the only way most Democrats can ever qualify for communion.

  • wolfeman

    Biden and Pelosi both refuse job!

  • http://online.logcabin.org/about/ suzieQ

    Guess we shouldn’t have closed Gitmo after all!

    • CincoSolas_del_Bronx
    • Achance
    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      now…. if you want BAD-TASTE but clearly a joke….

      Barack Obama discovered to actually be Jimmy Carter in Black-face paint

    • http://www.redstate.com/tnjim TNJim
      • http://online.logcabin.org/about/ suzieQ

        But JLenardDetroit’s quote is MUCH better anyway!

        • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

          we all know that the Leftist morons in this country won’t have the CALL TO ARMS AGAINST THE TERRORISTS RESPONSIBLE attitude they should but will play up the BLAME AMERICA, more-so Angry-Mob, TEApeaters, are really to blame BS! That is what we know!!! However, the Terrorists should be careful, as some Liberals might just surprise even them and not want to be AQ sympathizers, aiders, comforters, appeasers, any more and might actually want to start to finally recognize THIS IS A WAR and want to Fight it also (for a real HOPE and CHANGE)!!!

          As for your saying it in the first place… well…. people sometimes get “caught up” in a moment… but we want to conduct ourselves better than the (can’t escape their Emotionalism and over-reactionary lashing out derangement] Liberals..

          Take Care and God Bless! We should all be Praying for this President, for so many reasons…. only 2 being his “protection” and “he see the light and have a real CHANGE of heart” for the sake of our Nation.

        • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

          as slaves to their love of Liberals and/or fear of Lefty loon groups lashing out with Political-Correctness violations charges, can’t seem to think of a joke or two in relation to the Obamunist. But Thanks for the comment about the (un-PC) joke — it does sum things up pretty well though, doesn’t it?!?!

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      see Prayers for Rush comment here as to why it relates to these Next Year’s Headlines thread.

      • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

        cross-ref: Prayers for Rush

        dateline October 2010….

        Rush Limbaugh announces retirement. Upon his audience growing 25 fold upon his return to the EIB microphone after being admitted to the Hospital for “chest pains” last December, to spur on a COMPLETE GOP SWEEP1 in last months elections. So why is Rush retiring now? In his words: “I’d always said I will NOT retire until everyone agrees with me! … The latest Polls, and the Elections, have demonstrated that day has FINALLY arrived.” Polls further demonstrate an expected 100% sweep expectation for the GOP in the 2012 Presidential, and across the board, Elections. GOP reports it will deny all former Democrats from switching Party2 – just to be safe. ;-)

        1. h/t: TNjim’s comment
        2. h/t: billyd’s comment

        • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

          oh brother — really, really, really, gotta proof-read more for dumb misfires between thought and fingers typing something stupid!

  • Tbone

    NYTs.

  • wolfeman

    Organization implodes after funding is cut!

  • azred

    of corruption and malfeasance against the White House.

    This after –
    The Dems get slaughtered and lose 85 seats.

  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    in a unprecedented move, when the Super Bowl bound Minnesota Vikings team is onset with Swine Flu, the NFL allowed a “substitution” and the inter-divisional Lions were hired as the replacements. The Lions went on to win, in the name of the Vikings organization, the only SuperBowl they would otherwise EVER have a chance to win while William Clay Ford and Family remain as sole owners of the group impersonating an NFL franchise.

    ROTFLMAO….

    you know me… I just had to interject the silliness….

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      sorry, Larry the Cable Guy is over for Pizza and he wanted to borrow the keyboard :P ;-) lol

    • Tbone

      More likely.

      • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

        will, of course, be the real headline next Fall

        As always,
        Regards from the NoMoTown (the MOTORlessCITY)
        Liberals, looking to do for? America what they’ve done for? Detroit — which is DESTROY IT!

        NFL announces first annual LosersBowl: Detroit Lions and Oakland Raiders to play in Kabul Soccer Stadium — haven’t those folks suffered enough?!?!?

  • wolfeman

    Longhorns still searching for license plate # of truck that ran over them!

  • janis

    The former governor of Alaska could not immediately be reached for comment as she was on a moosehunt in the Alaskan wilderness.

  • Achance

    Yeah, hold your breath for that one!

    • DONTREADONME
    • penguin2

      that headline for real. You’ve got everything a candidate needs to have in a campaign manager. To me, the really ‘smart’ candidate is the one who knows who to have as their advisers.

    • http://www.redstate.com/tnjim TNJim

      “Palin/Chance 2012 campaign sets up website”
      Subtitle: “Chance: ‘I never thought this would happen!’”

      • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

        couldn’t resist…. now those are some good ones Art and DROM

      • Achance

        I don’t play well enough with others, even been known to run with scissors, to put my name on a ballot ever again.

        I could work for or with Palin, but it would take a LOT of money and a very clear understanding of who had authority over what – and a real nice parachute.

        • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

          would that work?!?! ;-) lol :P

          • Achance

            so it would take are really, really, really good contract. On the one hand, it is good to be dangerous in politics; on the other, she’s as dangerous to her friends as to her enemies.

          • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

            why we put up with you (um…. ah…. I mean, of course…. why we love you ;-) lol

            /ribbing <– just to be sure the “casual viewer” understands

            Guess that “Campaign Pre-Nup” would give new (double-meaning) to the “Art” of the deal.

            I know, lame, but you know I cannot pass on those lame ones :) Are there any other lame references I haven’t made yet (including the ABBA stretch above)??

            And… I’m done picking on Art now… I look forward to the time he takes his return shot in jest!

            Can we like both Palin and AChance? I say YES WE CAN! ;-)

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      announces they finally discover how Obamaocare is bad for American women and acknowledges Mammography scandal – Obamaocare will kill women. In related news, Hilary Rodham “Sex Change” at age 2 records discovered and released.

    • Tbone

      Don’t forget my cut of the clothing budget.

      • Achance

        but long as my cut comes off the top, you can have a cut too.

        Being a clothes horse in one of my very few remaining vices.

        • Beasley Beesmeal

          we can’t put it down!

          • Beasley Beesmeal
          • Achance

            in a place that gets over a hundred inches of rain a year. “Baja Fancy” would have loved a picture of it from this morning, at a balmy 20 degrees F. I have both “boys,” 23 and 27, home for the holidays and they went out last night and didn’t come home til sometime after we turned in. There were bodies on my living room floor, bottles all over my dining table, there was water, wet towels, and wet clothes everywhere and a good six inches of water sloshed out of the hot tub. And a trail of women’s “dainties,” none of which were a swimsuit, laying around. I quickly rousted the degenerates, had them gather up their “toys” and get the girls away before their mother woke up. Haven’t had an exciting morning like that in awhile.

          • Beasley Beesmeal

            Vassy and Bernie…they’ve been known to trash the think-tank after a night of carousing….I don’t think they’ve ever brought women home though…

          • Achance

            The younger one is being recalled to active duty on the 17th so, he’s trying to get in all the cheap thrills he can and, somewhat rightfully, assumes he can do no wrong. The older one has been on a crusade to sleep with every living, I think, woman since he was about 12. I had gotten him a summer job working in my general area in the last couple of years I worked. These thirty and forty-something professional women were simply embarrassing around him; if they’d had tails, they’d have been wigging like a puppy’s whenever he flirted with them. If I were single, I’d go out with him just to take the ones he threw back.

    • AKSteveB

      I was at a fundraiser for Ralph Samuels last night. Hell of a turnout, a lot of fun. I’m pretty sure we’re outraising Parnell right now.

      • Achance

        Haven’t made any contact with them, but I will after the 1st. As you can see from the posts above, my life has been more interesting than I’m normally used to lately. I like Sean, but it will take a lot to convince me he can win on his own or beat any credible Democrat; and there are credible, if not honest, Democrats.

        • Achance
        • AKSteveB

          but his proposed budget for next year is 8 pct over now, and that is before the Leg adds their pet stuff. He is still acting as Palin’s poodle on gas and oil as well.

          • AKSteveB

            but Mayor Sullivan is doing a fantastic job. We will be having an actual budget *cut* (a real cut, not a reduction in proposed growth) and he is staying a bit *below* the tax cap. Given the sh*t sandwich Begich left him, and the fact that the City Council still is controlled by “The Socialist Six” as Fagan calls them, it is little short of amazing. I’m pretty sure you’ll be seeing him move up in a few years.

          • Achance

            and ran off most of the Murkowski appointees. Parnell has made few changes which means that at the director level and even in some commissioner’s offices, he is trying to govern with the Knowles Administration. If nothing else, that will explain the budgets. I’d really like to see somebody run on promising a complete fruitbasket turnover; fire every appointee. Some are apolitical subject matter experts, they can be hired back. Some will honestly kiss the ring and they can be hired back. Then there needs to be some first class career funerals. You really shouldn’t be out past the end of regular longevity pay in what is definitionally a temporary job. Then they gave themselves never-ending longevity by just guaranteeing a step increase every year no matter what. Hell, I never could even make it to longevity as a classified employee, albeit in a controversial position. I submit to you that a political appointee in longevity is all the evidence I need that the person has zero priniciples or integrity. And even that deal isn’t sweet enough for some of them; the real pets are in what are called temporary exempt positions where the qualification is know somebody who’ll hire you and the pay is whatever deal you can make. Yep, open and transparent alright.

  • DONTREADONME
    • gazill
  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    real Birth-certificate and College Acceptance on “Affirmative Action” grounds Admission papers when he tries to “Richard Reid” himself to destroy the evidence.

  • discerningconservative
    • http://www.nighttwister.com NightTwister
      • discerningconservative
      • scarlos
  • http://www.redstate.com/tnjim TNJim

    Subtitle: DailyKos founder Zuniga: “I give up. Shutting down site.”

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      guess it would work either way ;-) lol

      God Bless America, intervene on behalf of your, one of two, Nation of Destiny again!

  • Kaijin

    A few suggestions, separated by semicolon.

    Health care entitlement over-budget, Democrats mystified; Free markets and small businesses rebound economy, Democrats mystified; More companies moving overseas to lower corporate tax brackets, Democrats mystified; Obama appears ankle-deep in water after major leak, White House claims proof President walks on water; Kim Jong-il criticizes Obama for “personality cult”; Obama claims he “inherited” losing control of Congress; Hugo Chavez exiled after coup, White House demands reinstatement; Honduras severs relations with U.S. after voters remove Democrats from office in “coup”; Supreme Court interprets Constitution correctly; Following Dem logic on health care bill, GOP forces all voters to read Constitution; and finally,; Massive government overreach and bureaucratic central-planning fails, Democrats mystified.

    • http://www.redstate.com/tnjim TNJim
      • Kaijin

        Actually, at second thought that one should read “Following Dem logic on health care bill, GOP forces all Americans to buy ‘The Road to Serfdom’.”

  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    forward this entire thread to them at some time, not that they’ll pay any attention to it — well, minus, a few things editted out that go too far.

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      our inputs…. , not the Mods/Editors will not pay attention….

  • discerningconservative
  • Tbone

    Now wouldn’t that have an explosive effect.

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      delicately ;-) I was looking to work in a “drawers” reference in my Sandy Berger one above but opted to go for the Richard Reid mention since I couldn’t come up with a good way to work it in.

  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    interim President Biden announces he will re-appoint her anyway….

    yes, yes, yes, I know you know, leave that for the Left to scratch their heads!

  • discerningconservative
  • Kaijin

    American Euphemism Society names “choice” word of the century as NARAL and Planned Parenthood accept “Pol Pot Award for Excellence in Ethnic Cleansing”

    • http://andrightlyso.com/ civil_truth
  • Third Street

    Subhead: “STEVE DALLAS APPOINTED TO DHS”

  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    Leaving only the ____ and nothing to Feed the Economy and those poor Democrats “supposedly” care so much about/for. When all there is is ____, who wants to have it redistributed to them?!?!

    The Left won’t grasp this one either.

    A/K/A: Violation of the Don’t Bite The Capitalism That Feeds You rule.

  • seesalrun

    worthy of it’s news.
    1.Wrapped fish
    2. Drained grease
    3. Protected shipped items..

    The list could go on and on

  • seesalrun

    “Twilight Zone episode over”
    Thank you Madame President Cheney.

  • http://www.suvstrategery.blogspot.com SoFiMil

    The Vegas “House” wins, as even though Congress was poised to kill the health care bill with 230 “No” votes, Nancy Pelosi has continued to kept the vote open through December 31st, 2010 in the delusional belief that she could flip enough votes. Conservatives and Independents who put money on the bill being killed were happy, though poorer

  • shadowtax
  • DONTREADONME

    that’s what I pray for tonight.

    • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

      while I said this above, I’m going to repeat it because (in my haste) I left out a fun cross-reference in my hyperlinKING ( ;-) DROM lol) duties that I’ll add:

      dateline December 2010?.

      Rush Limbaugh announces retirement. Upon his audience growing 25 fold upon his return to the EIB microphone after being admitted to the Hospital for ?chest pains? last December, to spur on a COMPLETE GOP SWEEP 1 in last months elections. So why is Rush retiring now? In his words: ?I?d always said I will NOT retire until everyone agrees with me! ? The latest Polls, and the Elections, have demonstrated that day has FINALLY arrived.? Polls further demonstrate an expected 100% sweep expectation for the GOP in the 2012 Presidential (Palin/Chance ticket 2), and across the board, Elections. GOP reports it will deny all former Democrats from switching Party 3 – just to be safe.

      1. h/t: TNjim?s ‘Headlines’ comment
      2. h/t: AChance and DROM ‘headlines’ comments
      3. h/t: billyd?s ‘Headlines’ comment

      and, of course, see too: Prayers for Rush Diary comments.

      Remember the Wanda Sykes “I hope Rush Limbaugh Dies (I refer to here) comment?!?! …. Despite all the hate we know the Left spews we must show RESPECT for ourselves and our values to be better than they are and not make crude comments about them!

      • DONTREADONME

        which earns him the official title of the hyperlinKING of Redstate. BTW I did catch your headlines above, oh and for the black helicopter crowd (myself included) isn’t Rush in Hawaii at the same time as 0bama? Poison? Death rays? Polonium 210? 0bamas telekinetic minions …cue X-files…

        • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

          it’s all about the 90%+ words-unseen by 90%+ of the newbies, casual readers, and even many/most of us Regulars.

          As for your other part of the comment… in the Great Minds Think Alike…. I too had considered making the “they are both there at the same time” and hint at Poisoning :O thing – not sure why I didn’t put it…. Deep down I knew someone else would indeed think it and post it. Glad it was you, my friend.

          Take Care… And GOD BLESS! If Beck doesn’t slow down he may be next, we certainly know the Left is hoping for that too.

        • http://www.suvstrategery.blogspot.com SoFiMil

          Thanks for the laugh. And thanks to JL Detroit for your links and being a good sport. Happy New Year to all.

          • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

            over that…. While I can dish it out, I really can’t take it….

            Just kidding, of course, we do have to have a Sense-of-humor about ourselves.

            I liked DROM’s dubbing me the “hyperlinKING” so much I added the reference and h/t to him in my RSProfile. lol. I know it is annoying at times, but its all in the name of keeping people informed and giving them the opportunity to follow thoughts about to other other references already discussed at RS for background, further info, etc…. But you probably already know that.

  • abeldred

    Overwhelming conservative majorities in both Houses of Congress have convicted President Obama of treason, bribery of a federal official and lying under oath as to his qualifications for holding the office of POTUS.

  • joayn

    Also:

    Dems Wee-Wee’d Up – GOP Sweeps State and Federal Elections!
    Rahm Emanuel Sentenced Today …
    Eric Holder Sentenced Today …
    Al Gore Sentenced Today …
    Nancy Pelosi Defeated – Banished From USA!
    Hell Now Frozen – Barney Frank Defeated!
    Caution: Flying Pigs – Democrats Rejected by 99% of Electorate!

    And on and on …

  • proudmarinemom

    Thirty-two Czars. Lech Walesa and Daniel Hannan Brought In to Name Replacements.”

  • joayn

    after being released on $1 trillion bail. A warrant has been issued for his immediate arrest. After being featured on “America’s Most Wanted” television show, reports of Reid sightings in Cuba have been confirmed. Numerous tips of him being seen with an American female have also been reported. The female, as yet unidentified, is reportedly grotesquely disfigured, with a Joker-like grimmace frozen on her face. Police consider them both to be armed and dangerous …

  • joayn

    After Timothy Geitner’s arrest, Arthur Laffer has been confirmed by the Senate as Geitner’s replacement.

  • joayn
  • CincoSolas_del_Bronx
  • http://pocketchangeproductions.net/ anotherindyfilmguy

    After Obama reads a biography of Ronald Reagan he developed an interest in both real politics and history. His reading list grew and grew, learning more in a few months than he’d learned from the left in his entire life… The O became the first POTUS to switch parties during the only term in office five minutes before the state of the union address…

  • http://pocketchangeproductions.net/ anotherindyfilmguy

    when he thought the mic was “off” and then proceeds with his state of the union address…

  • http://pocketchangeproductions.net/ anotherindyfilmguy

    after Holiday vacation ends because mobs of protesters would not let them return to D.C. to vote on health care…

    Responding to the crisis State Governors rushed to help by placing the errant politicians under house arrest “for their own safety” until special elections could be held to really see if the majority of their constituents wanted them to return to DC… unable to reach a quorum the Senate and House both shut down for the year…

  • http://pocketchangeproductions.net/ anotherindyfilmguy

    Reid and Pelosi, both saddened deeply, resign from their seats and retire to “peaceful Mexico” in protest…

  • http://pocketchangeproductions.net/ anotherindyfilmguy

    signs a book deal for $30M and joins habitat for humanity… on first meeting him at a new house building J. Carter mistakes the O for his new assistant – much shrillarity ensues…

    • Taniwha

      Obama book tanks — he wrote it himself this time.

  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit
  • http://www.ssce.net/Web-Articles/Web-articles-indexed-authors.html#authors-l JLenardDetroit

    Obamaocare primers: here, here, here, here, here, and HC issues summary here

    +ex post facto Court challenges to Obamaocare short-sighted – Thinking Obamaocare can be defeated in the Courts is a BAD short-sighted STRATEGY! must not be allowed to be signed AT ALL!