Harry Reid is an Outer Space Alien
Recently, Senator Harry Reid raised quite a commotion with accusations regarding Mitt Romney’s taxes. Apparently, Harry has an anonymous source who knew a guy that was a friend with this other guy, or some such nonsense. Anyway, according to this reliable source, Romney did not pay any taxes for ten years. Although there is no actual evidence, Harry informed us that “The charge is out there.” So, this means that it is incumbent on Romney to prove that he did indeed pay taxes.
Well, I have another “out there” charge for Harry, a charge that is way, way out there. If fact, it’s so out there it is on another planet. Yes, if you hear me now, you will definitely believe me later. Harry Reid is an outer space alien.
Of course, I realize that many will say this is crazy talk. In the old days (prior to last week) some might have even cited the rubric that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. However, those rules are now, like Scarlet and Rhett, gone with the wind. The new Harry’s Rule states that if someone makes an outlandish charge, it is up to the presumed guilty party to refute that charge. That old innocent until proven guilty bunk is so passé. So Harry, until you can prove otherwise, you are guilty. You are as guilty as any little green man from Mars can be.
Just to be fair, I will go above and beyond the new Harry’s Rule of jurisprudence. I will actually provide evidence that makes my case. First of all, where is Senator Reid’s alleged home state? The answer is Nevada, right? Don’t try to deny it Harry. And what is in Nevada? Well, besides sand and casinos, Nevada is most famous for Area 51. And what is found at Area 51? In this top secret location, there are all kinds of alien artifacts, and alien spaceships, and super secret things that have been back-engineered from alien technology. It is very convenient to have everything right in your own back yard, isn’t it Harry. Are you preparing for the advent of a quick get-away?
Second, the Roswell spaceship crash site is where? Well, okay, that is in New Mexico, but that is just one state over from Nevada, and we all know, in the new Harry’s Rule there is guilt by association (unless, of course, you are Obama, and then none of that stuff matters). Nevertheless, the Roswell crash artifacts were eventually moved to Area 51 which is, once again, in Harry Reid’s home state.
Last but not least, I have information from a very reliable source that beneath the wrinkled and leathery mask that Harry puts on each morning, there lies the face of a reptilian space alien. Yes, he is indeed a representative of the bad Reptilian alien invaders. Do not believe the spin that he is one of the good Grey extraterrestrials. That is nonsense.
Of course, the main stream media will not report any of this? For example, there is no mention of this amazing fact in the latest issue of The National Enquirer, available at grocery store checkout lines everywhere. Likewise, late night paranormal radio shows are completely mum on this subject. Apparently the Men in Black got to them too. However, thanks to Harry Reid and his pioneering work in re-interpreting the constitution, we now know that he has to answer these charges, even if no credible news outlet will challenge him. So how about it Harry? Prove to us that you are not an outer space alien.