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By Moe Lane Posted in 2008 | Rooting For Injuries | The Best Democratic Primary EVER — Comments (12) / Email this page » / Leave a comment »

Therefore, as a public service for those members of the Online Left scratching their heads about why Norm Scheiber entitled his discussion on the upcoming Democratic catastrophe "Slouching towards Denver," I hereby reproduce the poem ("What Rough Beast The Second Coming*") in full. Here's[***] a dictionary for the difficult words, too.

[*Amusingly, we've had two** individuals register for the express purpose of telling me how I got the title wrong. Always nice to know that people are paying attention. - Moe Lane]

[**Well, 1.5 individuals.]

[***Actually, not even close, as noted (fairly vehemently) by the Lefty site Whiskey Fire (note: site NSFW). And here I thought I was obscurely toiling away, with no one to notice. Very, very gratifying to discover otherwise.]

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

Who knew that William Butler Yeats was a political consultant? Not to mention a bit of a prophet, considering that he's apparently perfectly described the internal mental state of the Democrats right now.

Read on.

The only really necessary quote of Schieber's is the one at the beginning:

When Democrats contemplate the apocalypse these days, they have visions of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton slugging it out à la Ted Kennedy and Jimmy Carter at the 1980 convention. The campaign's current trajectory is, in fact, alarmingly similar to the one that produced that disastrous affair.

...as the next five pages are an attempt to quell the stark fear in the author's heart that got triggered at writing such disturbing - to him - sentences. To be fair, if I were still a Democrat I'd be equally disquieted. On paper, this should be a great year for the opposition party: we're coming off of eight years of GOP control of the White House and the Vice President isn't running. Then there's [Insert topical references about the unpopularity of the President, the Iraq War, the current GOP Outrage to be subject to spontaneous mass hysteria here]. All great for the Democrats, right?

Wrong. Schieber notes that the most optimistic scenario being floated by the Democratic Establishment is now that the campaign will not be "over" until at least June 3rd. The super-delegates won't jump before then: all the primaries will have to be fought out. And why is that a problem? Well - after a couple of pages' worth of bitter complaints about how John McCain caught a break, the big poopy-head, Schieber explains:

Ad hominem attacks are an almost necessary feature of an unusually long campaign in which policy differences are minimal. At a certain point, there's just no other way to get traction against your opponent. That's one reason Pelosi has informally spoken with colleagues about stepping in if the tone abruptly deteriorates. But there's a catch-22 involved here: Party elders won't forcefully intervene unless an attack does serious damage. But, by then, the damage will have already been done.

Worse, any missile that hits its target would also destroy the person who launched it. Given the delegate math, Hillary's only path to the nomination, barring a meltdown by Obama, is to destroy his electability. But harsh attacks on Obama will inevitably discourage African Americans from voting in the fall, and Hillary can't beat McCain without strong black turnout in places like Cleveland, Detroit, and Philadelphia. Conversely, any attack on Hillary that alienated moderate Republican women could cripple Obama's chances.

Let me translate: remember last week? Expect...

(flip flip flip)

...roughly ten more weeks of it. At increasing levels of volume. With People Reacting Badly to every primary loss. And Other People Reacting Badly to the first set of People Reacting Badly. And then the Media will start getting bored, and that's when all the really nasty stuff will come out. And, don't forget, this is best-case scenario territory for the Democrats. Worst-case is that they go to their convention not knowing which name to put on the damned balloons.

Will it go to worst-case? I certainly hope so; but hope is not a plan, and I'm not in on the plan. I'm merely here for the ride, and it's been just swell so far, thanks. If I was going to offer advice, I'd... decline, with a happy laugh. The Democrats bet that they could get Obama to the convention without anybody noticing his feet of clay, and now that we have (and he's doubled down) they can't just disappear him without it looking racial. Shorter Moe Lane: irony. It's what's for dinner.

For the Democrats, at least. We're having Schadenfreude Pie.

Moe Lane