A disease is defined as a incorrectly functioning organ or system of the body. It is usually beyond its host’s control even if their lifestyle causes said disease. What we are witnessing is not a new concept, however there hasn’t been much mention of it either. Political Schizophrenia is sweeping across our nation like summer wildfires in California. We have seen a small spark take root and engulf entire communities in just a few small months. All across our amazing country people found themselves choking on their pot roast as the person they believed they knew inside and out starts spewing out talking points from the Democratic party and trembling with fear of our future. The upcoming Thanksgiving holiday will replace once joyous tables with divided ones leaving half ecstatic without knowing why and the other half finding they’ve lost their appetite on the one day it is Un-American to do so.
Surprisingly, Political Schizophrenia is rather easy to diagnose. Symptoms of P.S. may include paranoia, hallucinations and delusions. Let’s take a moment to break down the symptoms in order for you to better understand the disease. A person suffering from P.S. may develop intense fear where values used to be causing he or she to abandon their principals in an attempt to save their pocketbooks. This person may also see themselves living a better life if the government were to take care of them, possibly even seeing a “Star Trek” like utopia where everyone is successful and happy. And finally and maybe most disturbingly, victims of P.S. might experience a suspension of reasoning that causes them to believe individuals that they know have never told them the truth. Luckily, there is a product on the market that can fight against this terrible epidemic. It’s called Conservatism. Conservatism acts like a barrier between an individual and the symptoms of P.S. It is not a ground breaking product as it has been in the market since the beginning of the world, however in the past it has been overwhelmed and tossed out into the wilderness due to fear and lack of education. Caution, an individual who chooses Conservatism will experience side effects. These side effects may include the following; standard values that do not change, long term thinking and planning, willingness to go through rough times and stay the course, paying all their bills on time and possibly experiencing vandalism due to your political yard signs.
You should consult your doctor before using Conservatism due to the fact that people using Conservatism may experience intense blood pressure and heart problems when around victims of Political Schizophrenia.
Men have always ran from the rain. Now is a time to wait for the Sun. I will find out tomorrow if my first child will be a boy or a girl. I cannot stand on the sidelines anymore. We will take it back the right way.
Until then, I will wait in the rain.