If the DailyKos and Moveon.org have their way, America's dream team will not be the newest iteration of college and pro basketball stars taking on the world, but a frightening amalgamation of liberalism and incompetence. Get out of the way, Kobe and Dwayne -- there's a new group in town.
Without further ado, here is your, YOUR democrat dream, DREAM, team, TEAM!!
Starting at "Center of Attention" -- 47 years old, a graduate of Columbia and Harvard (although you wouldn't know it from his academic paper trail), lawyer for Acorn or Hickory Nut or some kind of tree nut, state senator in Illinois where he mastered the vote 'Present,' all-around wunderkind on hotair tour of Europe, a friend of Jeremiah 'Go* Da(* America!!' Wright and William 'Big Blast' Ayers -- your purveyor of fairness and spreader of wealth --- BARACK OBAMA!!!
Starting at Pointless Guard -- Age is unimportant because of frequent skin redux, but 68 if you must know, a graduate of Trinity College and the San Francisco School of Nonsense, an absolute inept leader and promoter of liberal ideology at all costs, never met a social and entitlement program she didn't like or an abortion opponent she did like ---- NANCY PELOSI!!!
Starting at Shooting My Mouth Off Guard -- 68 years old, a graduate of Harvard College and Harvard Law, a professional politician since 1972, Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's biggest protector on Capitol Hill, reflecting an amazing level of ignorance and incompetence to shield his liberal friends while sticking it to the American taxpayer, when he opens his mouth you can literally hear the release of hot air and Bill O'Reilly's best friend --- BARNEY FRANK
Starting at Weak Forward -- 68 years old, a graduate of Utah State University, an amazing 41 year professional political career, wherein he has distinguished himself with an incredible ability to demonstrate weakness and surrender in the face of great challenges. When challenges arose in Baghdad, he led the way to declare defeat -- you may remember, the "War is lost, the war is lost." When the recent credit crisis hit, he was a resounding voice of despair, declaring "no one knows what to do. This isn't like a baseball game. No one knows what to do." With leadership like that, why have followers? Never met a high priced hotel room he didn't like --- HARRY REID
Starting at Strongly Forward and Inappropriate - 65 years old, a graduate from the University of Delaware and professional politician for the last 36 years, he has distinguished himself for his uncanny ability to put his foot squarely in his mouth, most recently declaring that the election of the supreme leader would leave America open to an international crisis, thinks he is much smarter than he actually is - never met a foreign policy issue that he didn't think he mastered and yet amazingly he's never right; when he plagiarizes other people's work, he actually sounds pretty smart, unbelievably liberal but pretty smart, each day with him brings hopeful anticipation that he will say something stupid yet again -- makes Dan Quayle look smooth, loves John McCain and was critical of The One, but proud to be on his ticket --- Neil Kinnock . . . I mean JOE BIDEN.
And, any good team must have a good bench . . . this team is no exception.
Coming off the bench to fill whatever pandering role is required of them are these terrific back benchers.
John "I can't shut my mouth" Murtha -- democrat congressman from redneck, Pennsylvania, er . . . I mean western Pennsylvania.
John "I am so mad I lost the last time, but not as mad as Teresa" Kerry -- democrat senator from Massachusetts -- recommended Botox treatments and doctor to Joe "my forehead doesn't move now" Biden.
Christopher "I am so glad that Fannie Mae came along, because I was getting tired of just being known as the 1789 guy with Ted Kennedy" Dodd -- democrat senator from Connecticut.
Don't worry people, each of these reserves is perfectly capable of raising your taxes and hurting our economy with their liberal policies. There will be no drop-off in talent.
Now that's a dream team, America. I can't wait for November 5th.