FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
“Don’t MAKE me turn this state legislature around.”
I have no particular love for NY Governor David Paterson, given that he had to start his tenure as Governor by mentioning the adultery that he had somehow forgotten to mention to the voters up to that point – but that being said, this was funny:
Gov. David Paterson just put the kibosh on the Senate Democrats’ plans to leave the Capitol tonight, warning that he will sic the State Police on them and try to dock their pay if they don’t show up for the extraordinary session – the third so far this week – he’s calling for 3 p.m. tomorrow.
Paterson said “it offends me personally” to hear talk by some senators (“I won’t name any names”) that they don’t really mind being forced to return to Albany day after day because they get to collect their per diems while they’re in town.
The governor said he’s going to ask the state comptroller, and direct the state treasurer (We have one of those?), to “withhold any paychecks or any per diem checks from June 8 forward,” adding: “If you’re not coming to work, you’re not getting paid.”
At least one state Senator (Kevin Parker) reacted to the news that his allowance was being threatened by declaring that this was bull[expletive deleted], that the Governor couldn’t do that, and then sulkily storming off to his room to blast out the most offensive music on his iPod.
Amazingly, I only made one of those three things up.
Lewis Morris: [as John Hancock is about to swat a fly] Mr. Secretary, New York abstains, courteously.
[Hancock raises his fly swatter at Morris, then draws back]
John Hancock: Mr. Morris,
[pause, then shouts]
John Hancock: WHAT IN HELL GOES ON IN NEW YORK?
Lewis Morris: I’m sorry Mr. President, but the simple fact is that our legislature has never sent us explicit instructions on anything!
John Hancock: NEVER?
[slams fly swatter onto his desk]
John Hancock: That’s impossible!
Lewis Morris: Mr. President, have you ever been present at a meeting of the New York legislature?
[Hancock shakes his head “No”]
Lewis Morris: They speak very fast and very loud, and nobody listens to anybody else, with the result that nothing ever gets done.
[turns to the Congress as he returns to his seat]
Lewis Morris: I beg the Congress’s pardon.
John Hancock: [grimly] My sympathies, Mr. Morris.
Crossposted to Moe Lane.