FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Chris Buckley descends to fanfic.
Let me start off by saying that fanfic is not inherently bad, of course. It is often very, very bad: but then, every so often you get something like The Darth Side, which was infinitely better than 2/3rds of the films that it drew from. However, I’m well aware that to a Yalie calling his work ‘fanfic’ is a bit of a killing insult, which is why I’m using it.
Exhibit A (H/T: Melissa Clouthier): “A Prize Too Far,” which is Chris’ attempt to give voice to the imaginary President Obama that he inexplicably endorsed last year. You see, his President Obama would reject the Nobel Peace prize as being premature:
I don’t know the Norwegian words for “Let’s get real,” but I tried earnestly to convey in plain English that awarding me the Nobel Peace Prize, at this stage of my presidency, opens the committee itself to the charge that it dispenses its gold promiscuously, without regard to actual accomplishment. To give the award to Albert Schweitzer, or Nelson Mandela or Desmond Tutu or Lech Walesa or Andrei Sakharov is one thing. To give it to me is, well, another. To put it in very blunt terms, it is hard for me to believe otherwise than that I have been presented this award for not being my predecessor.
And Chris’ President did it in such a gracious, understanding, wise manner, too. Trulystatesmanlike, it was. I almost teared up at the luminous nobility of it all. A shame that this is the real world, huh? And in the real world, the President that we have – which the President that Chris supported – did not make a speech like that. Will not make a speech like that. Possibly even cannot make a speech like that. And no amount of sympathetic magic will change that.
But on the bright side: at least Chris didn’t Mary-Sue himself into the piece. Although I suspect that this might have just been due to a quick rewrite of the first draft.
PS: There’s not a chance in hell that President Obama would ever have the nerve to publicly refer to the man who wrote this song.
Crossposted to Moe Lane.