If you’re like me, you’re probably waiting with bated breath to learn who The New York Times and The Washington Post will endorse for President this year. Until that happens, however, we’ll have to make do with the endorsement of Barack Obama that was today handed down from the august heights of the editorial board of The Seattle Times.
For anyone who feels that this campaign season has offered everything but belly-laughs, I suggest that you read the editorial.
In it we learn that:
Obama should be the next president of the United States because he is the most qualified change agent. Obama is a little young, but also brilliant. If he sometimes seems brainy and professorial, that’s OK.
“Change agent” is slightly clunky–unless the Seattle Times is insidiously attempting to suggest that Obama is either a chemical compound or part of some kind of sleeper cell. Obama an agent? Huh? But the ability to say “Obama” and “most qualified” in the same breath demonstrates sure comic genius.
American optimism has been wracked by President George Bush and a previous Republican Congress. If you want change, you do not keep what is essentially the same team in power. You try something different.
Humor based on anachronistic readings of history may be a bit too subtle for the Seattle Time’s liberal readership, but this isn’t bad. Pretending to ignore or not remember that American voters were LESS pessimistic about Congress before the Democrats took it over at least deserves a chuckle. This is funny in the same way that the old joke is about the surgeon who recommends curing the pain in your leg by removing your head.
But it continues!
• The economy: The Good Ship America is listing in turbulent waters. Sinking mortgage and banking institutions are wreaking havoc at home and abroad. The problem is in the private sector, but it has been made worse by a federal policy favoring big corporations. The Bush administration has not regulated these companies effectively or done what it takes to curb their wants.Obama understands this better than McCain and makes clear he would do more to correct it. Obama’s assistance to the middle class in the form of tax cuts and college-tuition breaks is a centerpiece of his campaign.
Oh, make it stop!!! This is just too good. Obama “understands” what to do about the current financial crisis because… well, that’s not quite clear, though he’s made it “clear” somehow nevertheless with his telepathic power. And if Obama really does have a secret solution to the the financial mess, it’s somehow connected to college-tuition breaks for the middle class! This is pure genius–I hope you appreciate it.
Obama is also going to “curb the wants” of corporations. His power over human desire is truly amazing. Maybe he’ll also curb Michael Moore’s “wants” for cheesecake and cheese-fries–let’s hope! Pick yourself up off the floor and stop laughing now!
You really have to read the entire thing.