FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR
Joe Biden’s Myopia Scientifically Linked To His Low IQ and Conservative Values
But At Least He?s Figured Out What Accent To Use At 7-11 or Dunkin Donuts
There’s no gentle way to put it: People who give in to racism and prejudice may simply be dumb, according to a new study that is bound to stir public controversy. The research finds that children with low intelligence are more likely to hold prejudiced attitudes as adults… Low-intelligence adults tend to gravitate toward socially conservative ideologies, the study found. Those ideologies, in turn, stress hierarchy and resistance to change, attitudes that can contribute to prejudice..
I used to pity Vice President Joe Biden. I wondered how a man with decades in the Senate and a degree from THE Gawd-Almiddy Hahvad University could sometimes appear to be so insensitive. Now I understand. Fightin’ Scranton Joe must be a stealth Conservative.
Being a Rethuglican from (gasp of horror) Huntsville, AL, (/gasp of horror) I’m a humble, provincial soul. In fact, my very ideology stresses hierarchies and resistance to change. Thus, I was totally unaware of what accent I needed to buy coffee or nachos from the local 7-11s until Good Old Joe set me straight. The man is such a total cosmopolitan.
Now some crazy people accuse Joe Biden of being racist. They imply it was wrong to make fun of the rich and ancient culture of East India by implying that they talk funny when they answer phones at call centers.
But no. All kidding aside, Joe Biden is a good liberal. He can’t possibly be racist. When he says something completely unfair about an entire group of people based on their race or ethnicity, that’s different from racism because Joe Biden is liberal. We have scientific proof that he can’t be racist and liberal at the same time.
I think he meant to say that the greedy corporations were hiring East Indians instead of Americans so that the people that answer your phone calls would speak grammatically correct English. Or maybe this is just a foreign aid program. Our corporations are hiring these people to help out our new partner in the developing world. Biden was only imitating their accents out of admiration and solidarity. Just like people used to do when they performed comedy skits in blackface.