SHOCK! Macomb County, MI: Vote GOP and Lose Your Dog
Cross-posted on Right Michigan at www.RightMichigan.com.
In a shocking twist on their traditional efforts at disenfranchisement the Chairman of the Democratic Party in Macomb County, Michigan has announced plans to take conservative voter suppression to an unprecedented and shocking level this November.
Speaking exclusively with RightMichigan.com, Macomb County Commissioner and Dem Party Boss Ed Bruley announced plans by the local organization’s volunteers to use dog license lists at the polls on election day to force Republicans to choose; Vote in the Presidential election or keep your dog.
The sinister plan works like this:
Macomb County Democratic Party volunteers will be staffing each and every polling place on Election Day armed with a cell phone, a list of every identified Republican resident in the precinct and a copy of the County dog license registry.
When a voter approaches the booth the Dem volunteer will cross-reference his or her name on each list. If the voter is both a Republican and a dog owner a call will go out on the cell phone to what Mr. Bruley referred to as “a strike team.”
According to the Dem Party Chairman these “strike teams” are made up of two Party-trained volunteers and a large, white van. When the volunteers receive the call that a Republican voter is casting a ballot they will quickly drive to that voters home, break into the house while he or she is still away and abscond with the canine.
“This is all very legal,” said Bruley. “Michigan compiled law 187.289 grants members of the County Board of Commissioners the right, and some would say the responsibility, to remove animals from abusive homes. I have consulted personally with members of the ASPCA and the Humane Society and we are all in agreement that anyone cold hearted enough to vote Republican is unfit to own a pet and likely treats their animals very poorly inside the home.
“When we sat down to discuss ways to rescue these poor abused animals from their heartless owners this plan was a no-brainer. We catch Republicans in the act of voting and we swoop in to rescue their animals. Really our only second thought was about ways to rescue cats, birds and members of the gerbil family as well but since Macomb County does not require registration for those animals our hands are somewhat tied. I will be introducing a resolution at the next Commissioners meeting to mandate better record keeping of every pet in the future so hopefully come 2010 we might be better equipped.”
Local residents are not as excited about the idea of losing their pets as Macomb County Democrats. Each Republican reached for comment expressed outrage at the nefarious plot.
“They’re telling us that if we show up to vote they’re going to steal Ralphie? My kids would kill me. Ralphie is a part of the family. How can they do this,” asked one local resident who requested not to be named for fear of the roving strike teams.
Similar sentiments were expressed time and time again by conservative dog owners. Each and every one asked that his or her name be kept out of this story, fearing retaliation.
“If I have to choose between my vote and my dog I have to choose my dog,” said another local Republican. “Some people might tell me that makes me unpatriotic but I love my dog. I’ve had her for twelve years and she is my best friend.”
The Macomb County Democratic Party scheme raises serious questions not only about voting rights but about the rights of those with disabilities as well. County records indicate that there are over six-hundred registered seeing-eye dogs being used by blind residents in Sterling Heights alone. Statistically, at least forty-percent of those blind residents identify themselves as Republicans.
Visual impairment pales in comparison to the plight of abused animals, according to Democrats.
“It is always difficult separating an innocent animal from it’s owner, especially when that owner is disabled. But that cannot be our first concern,” stressed Bruley. “By voting GOP these blind residents prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that their real handicap isn’t a loss of sight, it is a loss of heart.”
Democrats say that rather than remove the seeing-eye dogs from their owners immediately at the ballot box they have contingency plans in place to “rescue” the animal at a later date. Plans were originally set in place to move on the animal immediately but Macomb County Clerk Carmella Sabaugh objected, warning that blind residents stranded at the voting booth could cause delays for other voters waiting in line.
According to local Democrats, blind residents will be permitted to return home with their animals but the “strike teams” will likely be waiting at the door when they return.
Norman DeLisle, Jr., the Executive Director of the Michigan Disability Rights Coalition, expressed outrage at the Democrats plans.
“You would think they would think, `This is going to look too heartless,'” said DeLisle, whose group defends the rights of the disabled statewide. “The Democrat-led state House has not moved on key anti-discrimination legislation for over a year and yet Democrats have time to prey on those who have fallen victim to nature to suppress the vote.”
But the message from Macomb County Democrats is simple… Don’t want to lose your dog? Stay home on November 4.