I’m sure that many of you have read David Brooks’ recent column in The New York Times (or should I say tirade), where he rants on and on about the evils of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly. However, what Mr. Brooks also did in his column—either intentionally or unintentionally—was to display intense disdain for the listeners and viewers of the above entertainers and pundits when he wrote that those entertainers expressed themselves using “spittle-flecked furor” and that they “represent a mere niche of the Republican Party”. Robert Stacy McCain wrote an excellent blog about Mr. Brooks’ obvious disdain for conservatives titled, “David Brooks Hates You” that is a must read. But, I feel that David Brooks displayed another emotion in his dreadful column besides just hatred, and if you will bear with me, I would like to translate Mr. Brooks’ column by reading between the lines and deciphering what he really means.—
“For the life of me, I can not understand why all of those bitter, xenophobic, Bible-thumping clingers love O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity so much—particularly Limbaugh and Beck. I mean, why do hayseeds love those two chubby, former addicts more than me?! Don’t they all know that I am the favorite “conservative” of the liberal elites? Sure, O’Reilly , Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck might all have sky-high ratings and millions of listeners/viewers (and Beck has unheard of ratings for an afternoon slot), but I write for The New York Freaking Times!! And, I’m frequently on Meet the Press and PBS (shows so prestigious that they do not need actual viewers)—and people who listen to NPR love me (they can listen to me and get a free tote bag). That’s got to mean something. You see, I’ve got the much more sophisticated audience, so the Republican base should really appreciate me and listen to me more, instead of paying so much attention to what bloviators like Limbaugh and Beck have to say. But hey, all of us over at The Times realize that the Republican party is “no party of Einsteins”, so they really don’t know what’s best for them, do they? Oh well, you know what “they” say—a prophet is least appreciated in his own land.
Furthermore, I am famous for my pearls of wisdom, such as saying that Sarah Palin isn’t ready to run for vice president because “experience matters” and calling her a “fatal cancer on the GOP” simply because she doesn’t think like me (see embed below). Now granted, Senator Obama had less real experience when he ran for president than Sarah Palin had when she ran for vice president. However, that’s really neither here nor there, because Barack Obama is much more like ME and runs in MY circles, whereas Sarah Palin does not—and that’s what those hayseeds who watch Beck, instead of listening to me, don’t understand. I mean, don’t they know who I think I am?
And finally, I am no fan of the way O’Reilly, Limbaugh, Hannity and Beck relentlessly attack Barack Obama, because I have a serious man-crush on him. We have exchanged emails and I was extremely impressed by him. Unlike the Republican base who likes Beck, Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Hannity better than me, Barack Obama understands me and respects me. He can even read my mind.
Maybe President Obama will invite me to go with him to the next big White House gala. That would be awesome! We could talk all night about me, and then HIM, and then me again. (I just hope Obama doesn’t ask Chris Matthews to go with him instead of me. I know—next time President Obama calls me, I can three-way call Chris Matthews and I can trick him into saying something bad about Obama, but I digress.) Then, all of those bitter hicks in the Republican base can see how cool I really am, and then they will be sorry that they never listen to me.”
—Translation: You’re David Brooks and you’re jealous.
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