When I got back, my mind was screwed up.  For two reasons.

I didn't want anyone to know I was defective and weak.

I was afraid and frightened.

I had suppressed stress and that bang on the head.

And ignored the adrenalin on which my body had become dependent.

Here's the deal: You have dealt with stress? Seek help. I'd go today to a good neurologist, not a shrink.

Don't be ashamed. Seek help,