« BACK  |  PRINT

RS

FRONT PAGE CONTRIBUTOR

Brave New Foundation Needs Some Brave New Basic Phone Training

Hanging Up 090 – Remedial Call Termination Procedures

Meet Jesse Lava, campaign director – campaign director – at Brave New Foundation: progressive, comedy savant, and first-time user of phones. If you’ve never heard of the man or the group, well, no surprise there. But they do exist, and they are hilarious.

Oh Jesse, you so crazy! They eat babies? YOU ARE A COMIC GENIUS! SOMEONE GET THIS MAN AN HBO SPECIAL RIGHT NOW!

The fake sincerity, the outburst of laughter releasing his obvious nervousness … you’d almost think it was a job interview or an audition or an 11 year old who just asked if your refrigerator was running. I’ll hand it to him, though; he did manage not to babble on about the Kochtopus or the Illuminati.

Tonight, Brave New Foundation is debuting a “documentary” titled Koch Brothers Exposed, which if the trailer is any indication, will consist in the main of accusations that the Kochs have lots of money, and that you should probably be upset about that. (George Soros could not be reached for comment.) You can read “sincere” Jesse discussing the premiere here. Just don’t bother trying to click on his link to the film, it doesn’t work. First day on the internet, too, one might assume.

The best part of the faux call above, for me at least, was the voice at the end suggesting they do a “second take” because “there was so much sirens? When you were talking?” Like, Oh. My. Gosh. For sure. As organized, bought-and-paid for fake grassroots harassment campaigns go, this one clearly needs a little more practice. I mean, if you’re going to be in the business of demonizing rich people for being involved in political causes, you might try starting out not being funded by Soros. Step two is to find people who know how to use things like, oh I don’t know, phones, the internet, English .. you know, starter tools.

By the way, if you’d like to fail to hang up on Brave New Foundation, you can reach them at 310-204-0448.

Get Alerts