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Introducing Debbie Wasserman-Schulz

I blog at another site which is dominated by liberal commenters.  I wrote this for their “entertainment” and thought I’d share here too…

I was as happy as anyone on election night to see Nancy Pelosi’s face fall as a result of being shellacked, despite the number of times it had been lifted.  But with that happiness was a slight amount of sadness.  Surely, I thought, after such a crushing defeat, the Democrats would eat their own and not let her anywhere near a leadership position again.  And really, Harry Reid is not funny.  Obama can sometimes be funny, but even that is decreasing.  So, I was ecstatic when Pelosi muscled her way into being Minority Leader.  I expected the comedy to continue and figured that the specter (not to be confused with “Benedict Arlen” Specter, the party identity challenged twice party flipper and EX Senator from Pennsylvania who couldn’t even win a primary in his “new” and yet also former party) of Pelosi possibly being Speaker again would keep Republicans in line.  What have we gotten?  Very little comedy from Pelosi.  Seriously, Obama can’t do it all and Reid is useless in that area!

Chucky Schumer can sometimes help out, but even he is not good enough.  Chucky’s minime, Kirsten Gillibrand, now in version 4.0 (1.0 was when she worked for Andrew Cuomo’s HUD in the 1990s which contributed to the housing crisis years later, 2.0 was as a Congresswoman who at least lowered herself to mix with her subjects, 3.0 was as a pure rubber stamp for Chucky, and 4.0 is the new and more shrill Kirsten Gillibrand trying to establish herself to the left of Chucky) is still basically in “beta testing mode.”  A full release of the latest version of Kirsten Gillibrand is expected in Spring or Summer, 2012, ahead of some sort of special event in November of that year.  But in the meantime, much focus group testing and polling is necessary to perfect this version.

So, what can conservative bloggers and political satire writers do?  At last, Obama to the rescue!  He picked Debbie Wasserman-Schulz to head the Democrat National Committee!  Oh, happy days are here again!  Thank you, Barack, for wisely reading your teleprompter (well, come on, three paragraphs in and I haven’t mentioned such an important electronic device yet????) so diligently!  She easily defeats Kirsten Gillibrand 4.0 when it comes to shrill, and she is far to the left of her.  On the other hand, is Wasserman-Schulz, with that incredibly annoying voice, really shrill, or something else?  I know she could easily get a part in any movie about a possessed character.  And heck, if you don’t like my blog, get a load of what One News Now has to say.  Hope you like their headline!

I think Wasserman-Schulz is the PERFECT person to be the face of the Democrat party!  She makes Pelosi, Obama, Howard Dean, and possibly even Dennis Kucinich look like center right types!  Forget about Pelosi, in fact, she’s ancient history!  Wasserman-Schulz is absolutely extreme.  Think of those commercials where they advertise a game, or a mountain bike, and they call it extreme as a selling point.  Well, Wasserman-Schulz is Democrat to the EXTREME!  But on top of that, just in time for 2012, she is now forever linked with Obama as he picked her.  What was he saying about being a “good one term president“?  (Having studied presidential history, there is no good one term president who was defeated for reelection. I like the Adams a lot, but both them are great for things outside their presidential terms.)

I don’t know, I’m beginning to wonder about Obama.  When he got in there, the Democrats had only controlled Congress for two years, after twelve years of Republican control.  He pushed boondoggle after boondoggle, ultimately causing Pelosi to lose her gavel after a mere four years.  Now he puts one of the most extreme people in the party as the public face of that party.  Are we sure he’s not secretly a Republican infiltrator trying to bring the Democrat party to its knees?

Anyway, get to know Debbie Wasserman-Schulz.  She’ll be a regular member of the “cast of characters” on my blogs.  She may even eclipse the teleprompter (adding that for your entertainment) when it comes to coverage.

Oh and when Wasserman-Schulz is bored of the job, Kirsten Gillibrand 4.0 will hopefully have finished “beta testing” and will be equally as shrill and extreme.  I’d suggest Gillibrand 4.0 (or 5.0 if she needs to reinvent herself yet again) to eventually succeed Wasserman-Schulz.

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