Top Ten Ways to Break into the White House!
Today, we were all reminded that even presidents can get locked out of their own homes.
It happens to everyone. You go outside to grab the mail, water the flowers, or give a press briefing and then are suddenly shocked into the realization that you are locked out of your own home.
Fortunately, President Obama played it cool, followed protocol, and located an alternate point of entry. He got lucky this time. The doors could have all been locked with his staff out to lunch.
In an effort to prepare the President for this worst case scenario and shield him from any future embarrassment, here are a few Washington-approved ways to break into the White House.
1. Find a grownup and ask for help. They always know what to do.
2. Check under the doormat for a key. Make sure to return it when you’re done.
3. Appoint a Door Czar with a sizeable salary to ensure that this calamity never happens again. He should monitor the energy efficiency of door manufacturing while he’s at it.
4. Instruct Congress to pass a bill for a brand new billion dollar door. Only the best for the leader of the free world!
5. Blame Bush for faulty locks. (Note: use in moderation)
6. Call a locksmith and hope for change.
7. Try the chimney. Santa does it all the time.
8. Call Hillary Clinton to see if she changed the locks.
9. Contact your local leftist “demolitionist.” The word on the street is that Bill Ayers knows how to blow things up.
10. Try pushing instead of pulling.
Welcome home, Mr. President.
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