The Asinine New York City Soda Proposal

Mayor Bloomberg of New York City is either outrageously insane or incredibly brave (or maybe insanely brave). What’s more absurd is that 42% of polled New Yorkers- according to CBSnews.com- agree with the New York Mayor that sugary drinks larger than 16 ounces should be banned.

Forty-two percent of New Yorkers ate too many paint chips when they were young.

The Asinine New York City Soda Proposal tells us two things. First, 42% of New York City dwellers are all cleaned,prepped, and ready to walk into their own Statist Enslavement Cage, one which comes with padded walls and floors and cameras in every room, should the deer-in-the-headlights drones find solid, edgy surfaces they may not be able to control themselves from running into. Secondly, the proposal illustrates there are perfectly eager tyrants-in-training  who are more than willing to step it up (big revelation, I know). And just in case our voluntary slaves forget or have questions as to which freedoms – if any- they have left, I’m confident generous men and women in charge working for state chiefs like Mike Bloomberg-who, most likely won’t have to comply by the same rules- will be happy to supply the inferior sheep with stacks of free manuals articulately describing the rules and regulations our caged citizens will have to abide by when it comes to when they can and can’t flush the toilet.

I’ve heard this story before. The soda proposal is justified in much the same fancy, mumbo-jumbo-snake- lawyer-talk like all previous statist wall-erecting, liberty-stealing, proposals.  It’s always the same schtick with the commie-liberals. The Mayor’s proposal is justified by saying that putting a lid on sugary drinks over 16 ounces is a protective and shepherd-like measure which will save potential consumers from heart attacks and taxpayers from paying the hospital bills of the obese. This is a win for the economic condition of the state. It’s good for everyone. It is a very compassionate and economic move on the part of bureaucrats. With all the money they’ll save, the generous state chiefs will have loads of leftover cash to employ more DMV employees who move at the speed of growing grass.

Since our government has such aptitude for keeping citizens healthy while being fiscally responsible, why stop at soda drink sizes? Why not regulate relationships? When you look at the different colors of the poo which is messy relationships, brilliant Columbia U professors can easily conclude that lives can be saved and tax payers spared if we can prevent idiots from ever getting together, and especially breeding. Break-ups can cause the broken-hearted to get overly drunk, get in their car and run over innocent people. Or suppose one of the involved parties kills themselves and, as a result, causes such guilt and sadness among family and friends that half of them will get drunk and kill innocent people while the other half will have nervous breakdowns and spend months in state mental institutions, a stay charged to taxpayers. Broken hearts cause depression. Depression causes a good number of people to overeat and overdose on sodas.  Let’s stop the break-ups. Get on it Nazi Nanny.

Once government has developed an iron-clad method for determining which relationships would be beneficial for citizens and government alike, another measure which would improve our Great Society is an exercise mandate. This is a no-brainer. All they have to do is structure individual exercise regimens and assign a Government Exercise Agent- kind of like a exercise probation officer- to every twenty citizens, to make sure ‘recommended” regimen is being followed. Voila! Everybody is healthy and nobody is sad because they are in a perfect relationship.

At what point is it too much? If the goal is to protect us from ourselves in the pretense of building a better tomorrow, then there are plenty of opportunities for compassionate nannies like Mayor Poppins to come to the rescue. All we have to do is relinquish freedom.

There’s an epidemic more dangerous than obesity. It’s called Stupidity. Stupid has permeated the thoughts of average Americans all over the United States, not just in New York City. This mentality is the same mentality which says a good way to stop criminals from shooting people is by making guns illegal for those likely to get shot. This same mentality is also one which, despite all historic and contemporary evidence to the contrary, naively believes bureaucrats- not even in a New York minute- would ever want to deprive citizens of their God-given rights.

We must get past the lawyer jibber-jabber and the out-of-context studies meant to convince us to lay our guard down and trust every power-hungry jackal who wants to get us to roll over to his commands.  We are so deep in this forest of statist overreach that we’ve forgotten what freedom actually looks like (hint, hint: any sort of ban on food or drink is not part of it). Americans didn’t fight and die so centuries and decades later politicians would have the audacity to tell us we’re too stupid and void of self-control to do what’s best for us. If I’m too stupid and lack of self-control, screw off and leave me be! It’s my right to self-destruct.

I could care less about soda sizes. I don’t even drink soda. This proposition had nothing to do with obesity. This is about power-greedy vultures circling around, testing to see how dead Americans are. If there are live Americans, we have an obligation to be insulted.


Let’s not forget that 58% of those polled New York City dwellers said “no” to the New York city Mayor’s proposal. Never in history has freedom been won or preserved because everybody was on board. In 1775, the Continental Congress was debating what to do regarding the Redcoats on their soil. The great patriot Patrick Henry had to remind them the cannon fire they were hearing and the British ships along the coast should be an obvious sign that war has already been declared whether they want to accept it or not.

It’s time to gather up the troops we have and express our dissatisfaction so ferociously that bureaucratic vermin  will stop short of the fear of God next time they consider another stupid, freedom-infringing tactic.  Enough is enough. These lunatics need to be fired. This is a land ruled by law, not by constituent liberal idiots who stand by, even help, pass idiotic legislature. I don’t care how much money this Nazi Nanny has. The judge that told him he’s ridiculous didn’t need billions of dollars to tell him it’s unconstitutional.

Let’s wake up and send that sly, suited lizard back to the rock he crawled out from. He and all his cronies.

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