Baja California, Here We Come!
Some leftist malcontents are all a-dither in the border regions of Arizona. They find their Republican lawmakers too stuffy, too icky, too conservative. They want their freedom, and, no, I am not making this up. I could noodle around the internet and provide a bunch of links, but trust me: The authoritarian statists in Pima Country, Arizona want to start the 51st State, which they deign to call (wait for it) “Baja California”.
Judging by the name, obviously, they want to sharpen their Mexi-phile bona fides. I am curious as to why, though, they don’t yearn to call their new state “Neuvo Obama”: That would strike all the correct multi-cultural tones, don’t you think? Although, in the proper spirit of New Age Leftism, they ought to drop all the pretenses, and just call the new state “Nanny”.
It is now apparent that the tactic du jour of Our Democrat Friends is, when things don’t go their way legislatively (see “Madison”) they will take their ball and go home. The patchouli-oiled masses of Pima County, Arizona find their government a little too liberty-minded for their tastes, so they want to leave. Fine, I say. Let them go, and help them find the exits quickly, too. Fill out the paperwork for them. Make sandwiches, whatever. Just get them to leave.
But, let’s remember that what’s good for the socialist goose, is good for the capitalist gander.
California, by all accounts, is a state that’s about three times as big as it ought to be. So, break it up into two pieces: The statists can have LA and San Framalamadingdong, and the normal Americans can break off the northern part for their own state. They can call this state “Reaganopolis”.
Michigan is a disaster primarily because of Detroit. Let Detroit become its own state, and we can call it “Receivership”. Let them pay their own bonded debts and mountainous bills.
For about sixty years now, the denizens of Wisconsin have been held hostage by the communists in Madison. They ought to break that city out to form its own state called “Butterball”, and they can figure out how to pay their massive public-sector union pensions on their own, without the benefit of hard-working dairy farmers picking up the tab: They’d keep the rest of the state, and all the other libs can remove to the once-great state capital.
In fact, reflecting on this, Baja California might be onto something.
Let’s make all the slovenly, leftist, statist liberals break off and form their own states, where they won’t have a single private-sector worker or entrepreneur to steal money from. Make them create their own socialist perpetual-motion machines, completely dependent on themselves to tax and tax and tax, and leave the rest of us alone.
At first, the liberatti would get a kick out of it: They could marry their umbrella stands, or what have you. They’d have a grand old time dictating the use of green power and plug-in cars. They wouldn’t be offended by the local Christian community shoving religion down their throats; there would likely be no local Christian community. It would be a communist nirvana.
Until, of course, they find out that government can’t create a stinkin’ thing. Solar panels don’t work when the sun doesn’t shine, and if all the gay men marry each other, not only does the price for brie and shrimp scampi skyrocket, eventually, the maternity wards go broke, and there aren’t any young taxpayers to fleece.
So, go for it, I say: Baja California, here we come! With just a little prodding, maybe we could make Obama’s dream of 57 states a reality.