« BACK  |  PRINT

RS

MEMBER DIARY

“Elderly” Dick Cheney Too Old for Heart Transplant; “Hot” Nancy Pelosi, though, is Just Gettin’ Started…

So, the thin vapors started wafting out from the emanations of the Associated Press yesterday that Vice President Dick Cheney was, perhaps, too “elderly” to receive a heart transplant. Who, exactly –the literati wanted to know– did the old coot push out the way to get his surgery? What strings were pulled to give the heretofore heartless Cheney a new heart?

The subtext? What was the unwritten part of the story from the Associated Press? Why on earth didn’t we let the old man die? He deserves it, after all the torture he committed at “black sites”, Abu Grahab, Gitmo, and, no doubt, his elementary school playground.

Of course, they couched their frothing antipathy in the thin screed of “resource allocation”. After all, the “elderly” (-their word) Cheney is 71 years old. Boy, at that age, he ought to be eating strained peas through a straw with a bib. At that severly advanced age, it’s not like he’ll just jump up after the surgery, and start doing his Jane Fonda workout.

But then, neither would Jane Fonda. She’s 73.

What is it about conservative Republicans that they are always caricatured as stupid, ugly, slow, plonking and dumb, while leftists are always portrayed as brilliant, handsome, beautiful, athletic, and dynamic. And, now that we’re moving into the age of Decline of the Boomers, we can now officially add “old” to the list of maladies of the Right, while the Left remains “forever young”.

Speaking of Bob Dylan, he’s 72,

Ah, yes, let’s take a stroll down Geriatric Lane, and see who, according the Associated Press, would be too old to waste valuable resources on, shall we?

Jane Fonda (Actress, agitator, fitness guru): 73

Bob Dylan (Songwriter, croaking toad, Song and Dance Man): 72

Jerry Brown (Governor, joke, Governor again): 72

George Soros (Financier): 81

Robert Redford (Actor, environmental whack-job): 75

Yoko Ono (widow, singer, seamstress): 78

Dan Rather (TV personality, newshound disgrace): 80

Paul McCartney (Beetle, museum-piece Rock-N-Roller): 70

John Sinclair (Hippie, Dope fiend): 70

Pete Seger (Proto-Hippie, commie-lib, songwriter): 92

Carl Levin (Senator-for-Life): 78

Ruth Bader Ginsberg (Dour-faced jurist): 77

David Crosby (Singer, 2nd Amendment Defender): 71

Diane Rehm (Newsreader for PBS, propagandist): 74

Joan Baez (Crooner): 70

Al Hunt (Columnist for Large Print Audiences): 70

The Reverend Jesse Jackson (Who Knows?): 70

The Reverend Louis Farrakhan (Nation of Islam Leader, stylishly coiffed): 78

George McGovern (Innkeeper, I forget the rest): 90

Tom Hayden (Punk): 70

The Reverend Nancy Pelosi (Plastics, my boy, plastics): 71

Dustin Hoffman (Ann Bancroft co-star): 72

Jerry Rubin (Another punk): 71

Tom Brokaw: (Network Anchor, author, dupe): 72

Now, I’m rather certain that we can expect a slew of articles in the next few days and weeks about the amazing ability of these folks to be verily on the cusp of youth, their best days yet ahead of them. They are, after all, the very cream of the Leftist Crop. They might need a heart transplant now and then, but I guarantee you, they are deserving, (unlike Darth Cheney) and are probably pre-approved for every procedure still allowed under Obamacare, from now until the Grim Reaper comes a-knockin’.

Whom Mick Jagger (69, and in the very flower of his life) is really starting to resemble.

Get Alerts