Bewitched In Delaware

    So it turns out Christine O’Donnell once imprudently dabbled in witchcraft as a high school student, at the time no doubt the product of some “government school” (to quote Boortz) with a “head full of mush” (to quote El Rushbo). So what? How many current Baby Boomer politicians, advisers, technocrats, pundits, policy wonks, academics and other “sophisticates” dabbled in all sorts of crap back in | Read More »

    The New “Gnosticism”

    Unnoticed (or ignored) by the State-run media, there’s been a paradigm shift afoot in Washington, the emergence of a lex dementia with occult overtones. It is no longer required that lawmakers or law enforcement officials engage in rational inquiry. Instead, “knowledge” is now disclosed to this new priesthood thru translogical injunction.   First there was the High Priestess herself, Nancy Pelosi, informing the people that | Read More »

    Children In The White House

    No, I’m not referring to Malia and Sasha. I’m thinking about the bigger kids running amuck playing “Government”, pretending to know what they’re doing while executing their “cool” plans out of the West Wing. White House Press Secretary Robert “Bobby” Gibbs showed up at a press briefing with two words, “Change” and “Hope”, scribbled in ink on the palms of his hands. This was meant | Read More »

    A Modest Proposal

    In the spirit of Jonathan Swift, here’s an idea. In order to avert the imminent destruction of human civilization by runaway global warming, how about the eco-terrorists, Algorian religionists, Marxists and all the other “True Believers” enter a solemn pact to commit mass suicide? Man up and take one for the team. Maybe on next year’s Earth Day?   After all, it’s evil human beings | Read More »

    BREAKING: Obama To Simplify Tax Code

    The Internal Revenue Service announced today that, under the direction of the Obama Administration, beginning in 2010 filing your income tax return will be dramatically simplified. Gone will be all the confusing schedules, work sheets and 100-page instruction books. They will be replaced by a single form, Schedule O, with only two lines to fill out. The first line reads: How much did you earn | Read More »

    David Ickes’ Lizard Aliens Invade Earth

    Certifiably insane David Ickes, the controversial conspiracy author and lecturer, claims George W. Bush, Queen Elizabeth II, Kris Kristopherson and Boxcar Willie all have something in common: they’re actually scaly Reptilians from outer space masquerading in human flesh as they conspire to take over the world. Boxcar Willie?   But maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the crackpot Brit. Last night the new | Read More »

    Obama’s Half-Ass War

    Who could have possibly imagined our half-baked Commander-In-Chief would opt for prosecuting His “necessary” war—the “good” war—in a half-ass fashion? On the domestic front, it’s a pedal-to-the metal, full steam ahead, man the torpedoes, “they bring a knife, we bring a gun”, locked and loaded for bear, guns-a-blazin’, Chicago-style all out frontal assault on the Enemy. (That would be Rush, Levin, Sarah, Hannity, Beck, FoxNews, | Read More »

    Lego™ Legislation

      Madam Speaker has unveiled the latest iteration of Health Care Make-Over legislation. The slightly-creepy Alchemist of San Francisco, along with her apprentices, spent days cloistered in her dungeon behind closed doors carefully blending various ingredients, all from earlier versions of various legislative concoctions. The problem with this esoteric approach, however, is that all these ingredients—herbs, metals, humors, elemental substances—are all poisonous. Blend, stir, heat, | Read More »

    The Worst President Ever?

    The question comes to mind, could Barack Hussein Obama possibly be the worst president in U.S. history? Alas, that distinction will forever remain the exclusive province of Jimmah Cahhtah. But Barack can content Himself with the consolation prize: the most dangerous president in our nation’s history. Kudos, Barry!

    The Borlaug Supremacy

    Our world faces the prospect of imminent disaster— by U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon’s calculation we’re doomed in less than four months—due to a menacing, runaway global warming trajectory kicking into high gear and propelling us toward a harrowing near-future characterized by rising sea levels, submerged island nations, deforestation, hyper hurricanes, tornados on steroids, drastic desiccation and the specter of widespread famine. Or, at least, | Read More »