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Phrases that Should Be Banned

Viral or going viral- used to describe an online video of people doing nothing of significance other than trying to get X amount of hits on YouTube or other social media to satisfy an equally insignificant ego.  Most things that people claim are going “viral-” like a cat on a toilet or a dog howling what sounds like “please-” is just something for news people to show to fill up time on slow news days.

Climate change- changing the name from global warming to this does not make the science any better.  It behooves this writer to understand how “climatologists” can predict things 100 years from now while their brethren meteorologists cannot predict things two days from now.

Selfie- people taking pictures of themselves, then posting them on-line. This used to be called narcissism.

Twerking- making up a cute word to describe some minimally talented singer’s actions is not cute. Teddy bears are cute. Any of the Victoria’s Secret’s models in a teddy is cuter.

Obamacare- a more appropriate moniker would be “piece of crap.”

Inside the Beltway- used to describe the Washington intelligentsia, an oxymoron by any other name.

Main Street versus Wall Street- supposed to elicit visions of mom and pop stores being squashed by big business; actually, a Democratic class warfare invention.

Hashtag- I thought it was the “number sign” until the phone company told me it was the “pound sign.”  It appears that I and the telephone company were both wrong.

Boston Strong- nothing against the fine folks in Boston, but the people in New York circa 2001 might be a little stronger. Plus, I do not view people like Ben Affleck or Matt Damon as particularly strong.  Now, Mark Wahlberg is a different story.

YOLO- “You Only Live Once.” Really? At first, I thought it was a new caramel-based candy. And unless you are an adherent of Hindu beliefs regarding reincarnation, living only once is pretty obvious and not worthy of its own “YOLO.” Regardless, living again as a cow, snake, or slug is not really “living.”

Soccer and/or hockey moms- the fact is that soccer is a really boring game played for too long a time thus creating a good excuse to drop your kid off, sit in the stands while other people “watch your kid” and you can catch up on your shopping or gossip. Hockey mom is attributed to Sarah Palin, but Alaska is not exactly a hotbed of hockey. Now if they are in Minnesota, Michigan or Maine, it makes better sense.  However, most hockey moms I know sit in the stands and knit something and occasionally let out a cheer then ask the person next to them, “What just happened?”  That is, when their noses are not buried in their laptop or Kindle.

Morally bankrupt- this is a real silly phrase. Just say the person has no morals. To say someone is “morally bankrupt” makes it sounds like they overspent their morals. Chances are they did not have any morals from the beginning which would make them amoral.

Fan base- sports teams have fan bases, not politicians.

Fiscal cliff- In what mountain range is this cliff located?

Man cave-  The fact that a room is a “cave” somehow conjures up images  which would run afoul of feminism.  It is sexist since it assumes that only men were cave people and that women cannot have “caves.”

Behind something 100% (or more)- by definition, “percent” means “per hundred.”  You cannot go above 100% so anytime anyone is behind something anything more than 100%, they are either a liar or a dolt.  Regardless, very few people are behind something 100%.  If you are, then you have not researched “it” 100%.

The ______ community-  This is something you will constantly hear being used by television talking heads and political pundits.  There is the LGBT community, black community, Hispanic community, the transgendered black female engaged to a Hispanic lesbian community, etc.   What about the “American community?”  This fractionalization of America into a series of hyphenated people or, in the case of LGBT, a series of initials only furthers the very polarization that the speaker is railing against.

Political theater-  This is a made-up expression used by pundits inside the beltway to describe an interesting-for-anything-other-than-the issues campaign.

Needless to say-  If it is “needless to say,” then why say it?

Don’t judge a book by its cover- people actually DO judge books by their covers since the title and the author’s name usually appear on the cover.  When we use this term to describe the propensity of people to judge other people, it is human instinct to judge people by their appearances.  For example, I still question why the guy on the Vonage commercials looks like a refugee from the Occupy Wall Street movement.  Thus, I would never purchase the product offered by Vonage because I judged something by its cover.

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