In no particular order of importance since the concept of importance is something that escapes the intellectual grasp of most social justice warriors, I bring you the seven best and potentially humorous stories of the past week.

SNOWFLAKE ADVICE: “I KNOW I AM, BUT WHAT ARE YOU?”

On “Bustle,” on online feminist website, Julie Sprankles has some advice for millennials when they are called or referred to as “snowflakes.”  You have to follow this bizarre logic to believe it.   She starts with the now widely debunked assertion that the phrase “snowflake-” for which the Eskimo population has many words- originated in Nazi death camps in reference to the ashes of those killed there.  Therefore, if someone is to call someone a “snowflake,” it is perfectly proper to counter that “attack” by calling the attacker a “Nazi.”

To her credit, she does offer other advice that can easily be found on your average kindergarten playground anywhere in America.  Her last suggestion- simply running away- confirms her snowflake status.  “Sticks and stones…”

THE SAD PLIGHT OF BEING IVANKA TRUMP

Normally, this writer would avoid talking about the family of the sitting president.  One would be hard-pressed to find any article by me about Michelle Obama and/or their children.  I cannot remember any.  But, Ivanka Trump is different since she has an office in the White House now and is intimately involved, along with her husband, in her father’s administration.  Thus, she becomes fair game.

In fact, her office has a room, a secretary and supporting staff.  As does her new home in Washington, DC.  So it would seem strange that a woman whose estimated wealth approaches somewhere near perhaps $1 billion would pen a book about women balancing work and home life.  Perhaps she has some good ideas, but it is certainly easier when you have a staff at work and at home to help you balance those conflicting duties.  Unfortunately, Ivanka Trump has very little in common with your average working mother which makes her tome rather hypocritical.

CLARENCE THOMAS AND ROGER TANEY: TWO PEAS IN THE SAME POD?

At least that is what one member of the St. Louis Board of Education- one Mike Jones- seems to think.  He is apparently offended by the fact that the St. Louis Bar Association invited Clarence Thomas to speak at their annual Law Day celebration.  Said Mr. Jones: Thomas is “…a breathing example of what the evil of American racism looks like when it metastisizes in a black body.”  He also referred to Thomas as “a black political zombie-” a loaded racist statement if this writer ever heard one.  One can imagine the outrage if a white person referred to any black person as a “zombie.”

He went on to say that black Americans are correct to scorn Clarence Thomas and that he is “uniquely deserving of contempt” and in the same category and no better than Roger Taney who authored the infamous Dred Scott decision in 1857.

In other words, disagree with the black Leftist line and you are not “black.”  Just call him an Uncle Tom and be done with the slurs.

AN OLSEN TWINS SIGHTING

The Olsen twins were sited at the Met Gala and even posed alongside the enhanced rear end of singer Niki Minaj.  This is where the problems started.  “Affinity Magazine,” which describes itself as “Social Justice + politics + culture from the teen perspective,” Tweeted that “white people age like bananas,” an obvious reference to the fact that the Olsen twins have not aged well compared to Niki Minaj.  They later issued an apology.

It was discovered that the Olsen twins had suffered from both anorexia, depression and drug additions.  Thus, they inadvertently insulted those suffering from mental illness, eating disorders and drug addiction- all in 140 characters or less!

Further, it was discovered that “Affinity’s” founder- Evelyn Atieno- once called Mexican people “dirty” and that a musician looked “Jewish in person,” but like a “rich Arab” on his album cover.  That, in a nutshell, is social justice and politics and culture from the teen perspective.

THE CONTINUING PLIGHT OF POOR WONDER WOMAN

With an anticipated release date of June 2nd, Warner Brothers’ “Wonder Woman” movie has come under attack from so many sides, its hard to keep track.  Why is an Amazonian crime-fighting superwoman being portrayed by a white woman?  Why doesn’t she have hair in her armpits?  Why isn’t Warner Brothers more vehemently promoting this movie if not for the institutional misogyny in Hollywood?

Warner Brothers decided to so something.  They didn’t put hair in her armpits and she remains white.  They teamed up with Think Thin, a company that sells protein bars and smoothie mixes- things that appeal to fitness buffs.  Seems like a logical connection since Wonder Woman is the epitome of female fitness, right?

Unfortunately, Warner Brothers has drawn the ire of the non-fit (that is, fat people) crowd.  The issue of “fat positivity” has now entered the criticisms of the film saying that for too many years, Americans have been fed propaganda that being thin is visually desirable.  They got that part right.  Instead, they are demanding more diversity to wipe the stigma of being fat out of the minds of Americans.

SPEAKING OF OBESITY…

Actually, this has nothing to do with obesity.  Some cities are experimenting with “soda taxes,” special taxes laid on carbonated and other drinks.  The reason is to combat obesity which will lead to lower health care costs at some future date and, along the way, raise revenue for pet projects.  For example, Philadelphia passed such a tax and the money is used to fund Pre-K education.

Enter Ed Murray, mayor of the Soviet Socialist State of Seattle, who proposed a 2 cent per ounce tax on these drinks.  This money would be used to bridge the gap in funding between white schools and minority-dominated schools.  But the plan had to be amended when Murray was informed that the tax would disproportionately hurt those who he intended to help- minorities.

It seems that minorities have a greater affinity to purchase and drink sodas and other carbonated drinks.  So what is a good socialist to do?  He dropped the tax to 1.75 cents per ounce and decided to tax diet drinks which contain no calories and zero sugar!  Hence, the idea of taxing drinks became one of equality.  Such drinks, according to Murray, must be taxed to fight “white privileged institutionalized racism.”

So, let’s just call it a white privilege tax and be over it already.  Of course, this could all just be a distraction from the fact that the good mayor has been accused in a lawsuit of something worse systematically speaking- rape and molestation charges.  Perhaps there should be a tax on perverted acts of pedophilia.

And finally…

THE UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN IS RACIST BECAUSE SOME FUTURE MAYOR OF SEATTLE SAID SO

That person would be Carmen Gosey, the outgoing chairman of the university’s student council.  In a publicized letter, she states that the University perpetuates a system of racism starting with the fact the university itself is built on land once owned by Native Americans.  Note: (1) Indians had no notion of ownership to begin with and (2) if they had, wouldn’t everything in America be built on such lands, including her dorm, her home, the local McDonald’s or Forever 21?

Without really citing any specifics, but one- and its a dandy- she says the college is institutionally racist because white people are racist and therefore all people should reconsider sending their kids to such a racist college.  She states:

“Not only by upholding a system of disadvantage but being born into a conditioned environment where you are many steps ahead…Being a racist is not an option, it is a condition…However, being an anti-racist is a choice. A choice that white people will have to make which boils down to what they are willing to do to actively participate in deconstructing racism.”

So what is her one example of the racism of the college?  The fact that she, a non-white person, is president of the student council.  That’s right- a nonwhite person being head of a student council is her proof that the university is racist because the white supremacists in charge of the University of Wisconsin created a “token” and was therefore really designed to limit and thwart the success of minorities.

Ms. Gosey, without even realizing it, makes a great case AGAINST affirmative action.  For that, we should be thankful but one surmises Ms. Gosey does not even realize the self-defeating nature of her “thoughtful” letter.

That’s it for this week.  Join me again next week when we take that scary journey into the absurd world of the snowflake social justice warriors.