Designed as a piece of humorous respite from the topsy-turvy world of Trumpism and all the drama (and humor) associated with it, this writer is pleased to yet again inform readers that the social justice warriors of the world continue to amuse and befuddle with aplomb. In no particular order of interest, this writer is pleased to present the top seven stories from the past week.
WE HAVE A COLIN KAEPERNICK SIGHTING
But according to ESPN staff writer Peter King, it will not be on a football team. Instead, King reports that since opting out of his contract with the San Francisco 49ers, no team seems interested in signing him anytime soon. That may be all well and fine with Kaepernick, King reports, since he appears more content to continue with his social justice work rather than throw a football.
No doubt it is institutional racism keeping this underwhelming 2nd round draft pick from playing in the NFL. Or perhaps it is the circus that surrounds the quarterback. Or maybe the fact he sucked last year and may have lost his starting quarterback job. Whatever the reason, this sort of blackish man-child who never knew poverty or living in the hood of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin (median household income $50,300) or Turlock, California runs a Know Your Rights camp for youth which sounds like a load of fun for the kids. Check your white privilege in lieu of archery.
LESBIANS ARE GUILTY OF FRENCH WORD APPROPRIATION
That’s my take on this new controversy. It seems that some lesbians are offended that some retail outlets like H&M, Urban Outfitters, and Topshop have merchandise with the French word for “woman-” “femme-” printed on them. Unbeknownst to this writer, the lesbian community claims the word is commonly used in homosexual circles and should ONLY be reserved for the lesbian, transgender, + times infinity squared crowd.
The retailers have been taken to task by lesbian groups claiming that they had no right to use the word since it is a homosexual term for a feminine lesbian. One such protester- H Beverly- said it unacceptable to use the word for financial gain stating: “the word femme has a history and meaning specific to LGBTQ+ people. Its our to use, not your’s to sell to straight people.”
One burning question: does this then make all French women lesbians? Perhaps a better word to describe these people would be “douche bag.” It even has a French word in it.
YOUR HATE CRIME HOAX OF THE WEEK THAT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE THE ENDS JUSTIFIES THE MEANS
Students at St. Olaf College in Minnesota were traumatized when a student of color found on her car a racist note which used the “N word.” The student took a picture of the note and then burnt it to erase the humiliation and pain she felt, but not before posting it on social media. This created a firestorm on campus as students held a sit-in demanding the college do something… in fact, many somethings.
Because readers here are so intelligent, you probably figured out that the writer of the note was identified and it was none other than the offended student of color. But did that stop the student protests and list of demands? Of course not! Although they deplored the hoax, they nevertheless have presented a list of demands on the college including the obvious ones- mandatory diversity training for students and faculty, more people of color being hired, blah, blah, blah…
POOR PEPE FOUND DEAD
For the uninitiated, Pepe is green frog cartoon character co-opted by moronic alt-right types on the Wild West of the Internet- 4Chan (seriously…its not for the feint of heart and boy the Dutch sure are racist!). It got so bad that the watchdogs of all things politically correct- the Southern Poverty Law Center- declared Pepe a “hate symbol” recently.
The creator of the online cartoon featuring a sad frog brought to notoriety by dropping his trousers and urinating “because it felt good” tried to reclaim Pepe as just some sad frog that anyone could relate to. But alas! His attempts failed so he did the next best thing- he killed off Pepe in a six-panel final cartoon.
But, the alt-righters on 4Chan are not going down without a fight claiming that an “idea” cannot be killed. They furthermore have decided to target other cartoon characters by the creator of Pepe for use in their memes. It seems strange since they have the perfect cartoon character occupying the Oval Office right now…
WHEN MEN USE MASCARA IN THEIR BEARDS….
You read that right. Supposedly, a video by a makeup artist where she colored her husband’s beard with mascara went viral and other women are now coloring the beards of their significant others with the colors of the rainbow in an apparent attempt to jump on the unicorn-love band wagon.
Such noted publications like “Cosmopolitan,” which monthly finds at least 10 new sexual positions, has commented on the trend. “Allure” went even further and married the trend- referred to as a “manicorn-” to social justice saying: “…there is no need to add the prefix ‘man’ to an animal that we’re not even sure has genders.”
This writer says be done with it and allow unicorns to use the bathroom of their choice. The morons at “Allure” should be reminded that there is no such thing as a unicorn to begin with and even if they existed, it is doubtful a colorful rainbow emanates from their mane!
WAS BROWN VS. BOARD OF EDUCATION DECIDED WRONGLY?
Just kidding, but we do have two instances this week of what appears to be sanctioned segregation from the halls of academia. In a fit of irony claiming it is not about segregation, 170 black graduates of Harvard will hold their own commencement ceremony two days before the official commencement ceremony on May 25th. No word on whether these 170 black graduates can attend both ceremonies which would seem somewhat racist if they did. But hey… it has nothing to do with segregation.
And an all-girls high school (another example of segregation?) in Detroit is holding a separate prom for their Muslim girl student body where they can let their hair down, hike the burqa, loosen the hijab and dance with members of their own sex…er, gender. In a typical twist of Orwellian logic, the high school justifies the segregated prom as a means to create a safe space for its Muslim girl student body.
A SHOCKING UNDERSTATEMENT OF FACT FROM BLONDIE HERSELF- DEBBIE HARRY
In an interview with the “Financial Times” (since taken down by that site), the singer for Blondie stated that she was transgender before it was vogue to publicly claim one’s transgenderism to the world. For anyone who has ever seen a Blondie video from the height of their musical zenith, Ms. Harry was anything BUT transgender. In fact, she could more accurately be described as punk rock/new wave female sexpot. She was the Brigitte Bardot of the genre. So her claims of being transgender ring rather hollow unless she believed she had a penis in the 1970’s and 1980’s.
While the underground New York punk scene certainly had some “gender fluidity-” think Lou Reed, Andy Warhol, at times David Bowie and the pinnacle of cross-dressing males the New York Dolls- it is Harry’s last comment of the interview which probably holds the most truth: “I’m confused at this point as to who to call what, or why it matters so much.”
Ms. Harry… you’re not the only one!