From the diaries…
This weekend, people around the internet, including me, pushed back against a post by a blogger named Amy Glass, who wrote that motherhood was an easy and worthless decision that prevents women from being all they can be. Today I find she has responded to the responses, and she just cant help but put her foot in her mouth again.
First, she says she has been criticized about her last post and says that the biggest complaint was about her saying motherhood is easy. Originally, she wrote:
We have baby showers and wedding parties as if it’s a huge accomplishment and cause for celebration to be able to get knocked up or find someone to walk down the aisle with. These aren’t accomplishments, they are actually super easy tasks, literally anyone can do them. They are the most common thing, ever, in the history of the world. They are, by definition, average.
But she now denies that thing that she typed and wrote and is still posted on her blog, saying “of course being a mother is hard work. I don’t think mothering is an easy task.” Ok then. But then she goes on to ask “is it worth while just because it’s difficult?” She says laundry and cleaning are hard, but we can hire people to do that for us so its not worthy, and having someone else do it frees up our time for more “valuable things”.
I guess the people we hire don’t have the capacity for doing “valuable things.” Of course not, they’re the underclass, aren’t they Ms. Glass? This girl’s silver spoon is just hanging right out of her face at this point.
She uses Beyonce as an example of how a woman who isn’t “saddled” with the all of the things being married and having kids comes with, thanks to her nannies, and that that’s why she can do great things like go to the grammys and should be admired. Again, those of us who can’t afford nannies are just, by definition, not as important.
But Ms. Glass isn’t finished with her fresh complaint. “I can’t help but think there are lots of other women who felt compelled to fill that role whether or not that’s what they really wanted”. Compelled?
If a woman TRULY has no ambitions other to be a great mother and raise her kids, I was too harsh. But I don’t think most women make this choice freely, so a little harshness might get the ball rolling.
She is still saying that being a great mother means not having ambition, and that this is a problem that has to be fixed by harshness. She can’t even fathom the idea that a woman can make this decision on her own. It must have come from someone else! Very feminist point of view right? Women just do what they’re told? What century does she think we live in? Women, even mothers, do all sorts of things without being compelled. They go to college, pursue careers, even serve in the military like I did. According to the Dept of Labor, women make up 47 percent of the U.S. work force. The largest percentage of them (40.6 percent) work in management and professional jobs; so don’t tell me we are”compelled’ to fill a role. When I was at home with my children, as I said this weekend, it was because I chose to do it.
Then Ms Glass really starts showing her inexperience and maturity level. She says that a lot of the people who responded to her mentioned that she must be lonely because of her rejection of the role of spouse or mother.
The second reason is that so many of the responses talked about me being lonely. I don’t get lonely because I love my life. I’ve worked through the childish “needing other people to make me happy” thing.
Glass making a charge of childishness is really quite funny. The two posts I’ve read from her so far scream juvenile, not to mention priveliged. She says, “what is so bad about being alone with your thoughts?” First of all, NOTHING. But second of all, what dumb statement. What kind of stunted, unsophisticated thinking do you have to have to argue that alone time with your thoughts can only happen if you don’t have a partner or a child? These are not mutally exclusive. And she goes on to make what I can only assume to be an exaggerated statement, that her mother and sister “can’t be without their husbands for a day. One day.” I doubt that’s true, but even if you assume that a person hates to go a single day without another person … so WHAT? Sneering at the idea of loving someone so much that you want to see them every day sounds like bitter regret pretending to be thought. Someone is rationalizing their own lack of fulfillment I think. Projection much?
It is a wonderful thought to have someone that will be there when you are having your worst day. Or the best day! Being alone and being lonely are entirely different. And let me say Ms. Glass, like the people who responded to your first post said, you absolutely sound like someone who is compensating for being lonely. Maybe you should reevaluate YOUR choices, instead of the other way around.
Or at least get a puppy. You know, if it’s not too “hard.”