Cockstradamus 2008 postmortems
[Originally published by TMR Legal Editor, Mike "gamecock" DeVine as Charlotte Law and Civil Rights Examiner for Examiner.com which original column contains all links to supportive references.]
As we promised on Sunday when we revealed, for the purpose of full disclosure, our New Year’s Eve, 2007 predictions for 2008, below are our post-mortems. Today, we also announce that Cockstradamus will end his retirement before the end of the year after a Sabbatical since October.
2008 predictions of Mike DeVine, aka Gamecock aka Cockstradamus, followed by explanations:
1 – Southerners and Christians (including Catholics and Evangelicals) astound the Left by failing to establish the first theocratic “impose our views” State in the United States. Instead, judges in Massachusetts establish a Secular Darwinist, Man-Made Global Warming Church theocracy in the Bay State, joining the non-Christian theocratic City-State in San Francisco. Christians whose churches were invaded and taken over for group orgies with Mayoral consent in the City by the Bay are welcomed with open arms by the ecumenical Muslim-Chaldean coalition in Baghdad.
We were basically right on this one. (1-0)
2 – Pakistan fails to devolve into anarchy.
Still hanging on here, but its too close for comfort. (2-0)
3 – The Taliban fails to take over Afghanistan.
Rooster still right. (3-0)
4 – The MSM fails to report the above and continues to refuse to report the US victory over al Qaeda in Iraq.
Our Foghorn Leghorns have flushed this out on several occasions. We have basically won the War in Iraq proper and against al Qaeda. (4-0)
5 – Chelsea Clinton continues press blackout of nine year old reporters from Scholastic America and expands same to include ten-year olds from Nickelodeon.
Even though this was a fairly obscure 2007 story leading into 2008, we still got it right. (5-0)
6 – Bill Clinton finally utters Hillary’s name at a campaign stop in Chicago on February 4, 2008; loses his voice and suffers a myocardial infarction soon thereafter; is hospitalized at University of Chicago Medical Center; and is served with summons charging him with the crime of bigamy and assault and battery with a stogie by a Nurse Ratched.
We are glad we missed on this one but still request prayer for the former president walking around like The Picture of Dorian Gray. (5-1)
7 – Colts defeat Redskins in Super Bowl.
What year was that? OK, Gamecock is better at sports than Cockstradamus, and this year the owner of the alter ego will handle sports. (5-2)
8 – LSU defeats Ohio State for mythical BCS college football championship. Refuses Appalachian State challenge.
We didn’t know that LSU had already scheduled the Mountaineers before they trounced the Buckeyes. (6-3)
9 – Lakers defeat Celtics for NBA championship.
Ok, we missed the winner, but we picked both finalists months away. (8-4)
10 – Neither Huckabee nor McCain will win SC GOP primary.
McCain’s military and democrat support in a crowded field in which both Romney and Rudy stopped campaigning too soon…(9-5)
11 – Obama wins Democratic Party nomination.
We would remind that we picked this before the Iowa Caucus. (10-5)
12 – Obama loses election to the GOP nominee. Oops (10-6)
13 – Mike Gamecock DeVine is vilified for refusing to predict who the GOP nominee, and next President of the United States, will be.
Unmerciful persecution of our human owner…(11-6)
14 – Neither Huckabee nor McCain will be referred to as President-elect during 2008.
What an oracle! (13-6)
[We also predicted the ending of the oil drilling moratorium even by Democrats, as well, but are not including it given that the President-Elect threatens to re-impose same. Call your congressmen!]
“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson