Cockstradamus 2009: Obama will save over 145 million jobs, etc
DeVine Gamecock’s Cockstradamus alter ego (pictured) went into a semi-retirement sabbatical about a month before Election Day due to his observation from the Roost that predictions at that point were being used by fellow conservatives to demoralize the GOP.
Originally published by Legal Editor, Mike “gamecock” DeVine at Examiner.com
Cock-a-doodle-do! The World’s greatest Chicken seer is back, just in time for 2009 clairvoyance.
Last year we predicted the launch of the FNC “Huckabee” show; that neither Huckabee nor McCain would be addressed as “President-Elect; that the Congressional moratorium on offshore oil drilling would expire and that the Celtics would play the Lakers in the NBA Finals.
In 2009, FNC will launch a new show hosted by Michael Steele; Congress will re-institute oil drilling restrictions and the Celtics will face the Suns in the NBA finals.
Ken Blackwell will be elected RNC chair.
Unemployment will top 10%; inflation will top 6%; the prime rate will top 5%; and regular unleaded will top $2.20/gallon.
The Roberts-Alito court will reverse at least two O’Connor Establishment Clause precedents; limit punitive damage awards in tobacco cases (good for North Carolina); deny liability in “light” cigarette cases (more good news for North Carolina); and President Obama will be caught on film puffing on a Kool outside the Oval Office (huge good news for North Carolina!).
Unions will not see “card check” enacted into law.
Neither comprehensive health care reform nor cap and trade legislation will be passed during the Hundred Days.
Obama first promised to create 2 million jobs in two years, then said he would create or “save” three million. Currently, over 154 million Americans are employed. We do not believe that even the disastrous policies of Obama and the Democrats will force more than 151 million out of work. At the end of 2009 and even 2010, much more than three million jobs will have been “saved”.
Obama will “save” more than 145 million jobs but he will “create” more jobs for lawyers than non-lawyers thanks to his greenism.
Rahm Emmanuel will not be Chief of Staff past the date of December 31, 2009.
Obama will scale back his promised tax cuts in the First Hundred Days, but the Oceans will be lower after the First 300 Days.
Oklahoma will beat Florida in the BCS Bowl.
The Carolina Panthers will defeat the Colts in the Super Bowl.
Tar Heels win March Madness.
Suns play Celtics in NBA Finals.
Yankees do not play in the World Series.
Hillary persuades Turkey and Syria to withdraw from Iraqi Kurdistan.
The Earth has been cooling for a decade. Obama will reap the benefit and change his name to Moses.
Rooster never misses a dawn.
“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson
For more info: Link will be provided later for all of the DeVine Gamecock’s 2008 Awards which include: Man of the Year (Paulson), Politician of the Year (Obama), Most Underrated (Bush), etc. at The Minority Report