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Fourth Annual Braves-Gamecock College Football Ode to Leonard’s Losers [Open Thread]

Our annual sports weekly that runs during College Football season returns for its fourth year with weekly prognostications by Braves-Gamecock and occasional oracle-like calls from Cockstradamus, still on sabbatical in The Azores.

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This year we also launch the season with conference predictions as well as our usual selection of weekly picks at the bottom of the column, but first…

Leonard Postosties

This column has always been dedicated to the late Athens, Georgia native, Leonard “Postosties” Postero, pigskin prognosticator extraordinaire, whose “Leonard’s Losers” radio show was a must listen all during our childhood and until his death in 2001.

We await the opening Kickoff of the College Football season tomorrow, still basking in the glow of the end of the 1801 “chicken curse” as the Fighting Gamecocks won the College World Series over UCLA (the school with the most NCAA national championships) and their first national championship (The Lady Gamecocks broke their “hen curse” with the 2002 Track and Field crown), when USC will tarnish the feathers of the Southern Miss Golden Eagles as Lane Kiffin’s team (for now) has a luau with non-rainbow Warriors in Hawaii.

I am Gamecock. Born one, raised as one and matriculated as one at the Law School.

Braves Nation, America’s Team

But my love for the Atlanta Braves pre-dates my love of the rooster and runs even deeper. I loved them in 1969 when they won the West, only to fall to the Miracle Mets. Loved them in 1974 when Hank passed the Babe. Loved them during the late 70s and early 80s when they regularly threatened to lose 100 games.

Did I mention that unprecedented in all of sports, 14-year division winning streak? How about the 1995 World Series?

Loved them then, and love them now as the J-Hey Kid (Rookie-of-the Year candidate), Brian McCann (Future Hall of Famer- see biopic here) and Martin Prado (NL MVP candidate) lead the team to our pre-season predicted  World Series revenge win over some team from the Bronx!

That is the view from atop the Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Broken Bats

The only possible way the Braves could be denied the crown would be if broken bats impale them. I remember several early 20th Century legal cases we studied in Law School that determined that spectators at baseball games “assumed the risk” of injury from thrown and batted baseballs into the stands and even out on street. Ticket stubs’ fine print document this legal principle.

Impalings akin to those administered by the Huns were not contemplated. Bat handles used to be larger than a pinky finger. We hope MLB will take action soon to prevent a great tragedy. They started the conversation a year ago. Its time to act.

The Smart-Pill Machine

Now, having consulted Leonard’s Smart Pill Machine, the losers:

Southern Miss will lose to South Carolina

Thundering Herd  will lose to Buckeyes

Southern Cal will lose to Hawaii (upset special)

Golden Gophers will lose to Blue Raiders (upset special #2)

Pittsburg will lose to Utah

Commodores will lose to Wildcats

Kentucky will lose to Louisville

Red Hawks will lose to Gators

Rice will lose to Texas

Spartans will lose to Crimson Tide

North Texas will lose to Clemson

Gobblers and Hokies will lose to Broncos

Louisiana-Lafayette will lose to Georgia

Horned Frogs will lose to Beavers (upset special #3)

Utah State Aggies will lose to Oklahoma Sooners

Washington will lose to Brigham Young

Bruins will lose to Wildcats

Connecticut will lose to Michigan

Boilermakers will lose to Fighting Irish

Samford will lose to Florida State

Georgia State will lose their program’s inaugural game to Shorter College

Moccasins will lose to Mountaineers

Massachusetts Minutemen will lose to William & Mary’s Tribe

South Carolina State will lose to Georgia Tech, and from the FBS loses to FCS annals…

Ohio Bobcats will lose to Wofford Terriers (Former Baltimore Colt Jerry Richardson’s alma mater and Spartanburg, S.C. home of his Carolina Panthers’ training camp) at Peden Stadium in Athens, Ohio – (May be an upset special but given that the Terriers have beaten basketball bulldogs in Athens, Ga. the last two tries, we like our luck in its Buckeye State namesake)

wofford

Cockstradamus on FBS conference One-Twos

ACC – Clemson Tigers – Ramblin’ Wreck from Georgia Tech (and a heckuv an engineer) Yellow Jackets

SEC – USC – Alabama

Big 12 – Texas – Oklahoma

Big Ten – Ohio State – Wisconsin

Big East – UCONN – WVA

C-USA – Houston – Tulsa

Mid-American – Central Michigan Chippewas – Buffalo Bulls

Mountain West – Texas Christian University – BYU

Pac 10 – Oregon State – Oregon

Sun Belt – Middle Tennessee – Troy

WAC – Boise State – Fresno State

More losers next week as Nadal breaks through at Flushing Meadows, that 88 car wows NASCAR and Agnes Scott College remains undefeated….Get me out of here, Percy (Peabody) …

[Update Ode to Randy]

Lumberjacks will, of course, lose to the Texas Agricultural & Mechanical Aggies

Mike DeVine

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

Charlotte ObserverThe Minority Report and Examiner.com archives

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