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Cockstradamus: Akin, pigskins, and a Ramblin’ Wreck for Dems after next tea party

Gamecocks kick off college football next week, McCaskill loses hope next month and hope returns to America on November 6

From his ongoing sabbatical in the Azores…

When?last we crowed?from our autonomous, volcanic?Portuguese?isle, we accurately prognosticated South Carolina’s school season-record 11th football win over Cornhuskers in Orlando; another mythical Division 1A national championship for the SEC; USC’s trip to the College World Series in Omaha to defend their two consecutive NCAA baseball national championships; and that the winner of Florida’s primary would be the GOP nominee. Still outstanding: Obama will not be re-elected and the GOP will win at least 50 seats in the U.S. Senate.

In preparation for our Todd Akin prognostication we acknowledged the usual circular Republican firing squads say how high when the MSM/Dems say jump. Then we?saw Rep. Akin?for less than 15 seconds yesterday vowing not to drop out. There was something different about his vow than of those made by Trent Lotts wishing old men happy birthdays over the years.

Akin will not drop out and we are finally going to get to see what happens when a conservative rides out a storm. Cockstradamus sees the calls for Akin to withdraw fading over time, the “issue” a rape-exception for abortion fading, and a reversion of the race to a referendum on the pro-Obama agenda voting record of the incumbent Democrat. Can you say Senator Akin? Get used to it and prepare to enjoy the sublime silence of his votes to repeal Obamacare, etc.

North Carolinians whose heels were tarred too much to make it to the polls in 2008 to cast a vote for McCain will return to traditional GOP form on November 6, 2012 to deny Obama another four years, as will several other states that voted for Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s Hope & Change acolyte, and Romney/Ryan will win the biggest Republican electoral presidential victory since 1988.

Pigskins?

One is a much greater number than zero, than two is greater than one: Just ask UGA and Clemson … if you can before they volunteer the Southern Manhood math. Yellow Jackets are too humble to remind.?I speak, of course, of college football national championships, which, contrary to recent history and common belief west of Columbus, are not reserved only for crimson tides, whose pet elephant never forgets, and tigers that cry “War Eagle!”.

Before this gamecock roosted atop Stone Mountain of Georgia to view Clean Old Fashioned Hate, we watched our father repel to our?Piedmont?South Carolina roof to turn the rabbit ears toward Midlands Columbia and the WIS-TV broadcast of then-national power, non-California USC basketball from the House That Frank McGuire built, i.e. Carolina?Coliseum. Little did we know that most of our fellow Sandlappers considered the playing of any non-oblong ball as merely the prelude, or post-script, for or to, the main act, i.e. Southern College Football.

Proficient with compasses and t-squares, our younger brother matriculated at that?Piedmont?non-state flagship school near the home of John Nullification Calhoun and alma mater of Strom Thurmond. While we were admiring George Rogers’ Heisman and Joe Morrison’s 9-0 black magic before a naval bombardment on the grounds of Annapolis, Danny Ford’s Tigers were counting to one with national championships in 1981 while keeping Herschel’s trips to Death Valley (the one that, unlike the same-named Baton Rouge version, houses legendary Coach Frank Howard’s California desert rock, the rubbing of which before kickoff promises 110% effort) end zones ?at zero. Spartanburg’s soul station from a nearby radio blasted Larry Munson’s call of Jawja’s latest were #1 in 1980, and so it went, between broadcasts of Leonard’s Losers by Athens’ own Leonard Postero.

But even before all that and the seminal Peach State “what have you won for me lately” year of Tech’s latest UPI manhood statement in 1990 (AP’s Colorado Buffaloes notwithstanding), our Dad reminded of the legacy of Bobby Dodd and the Institute he came to respect and admire when re-located to Bolton Road for two years by Southern serves the South Railway. Our Tiger sibling managed to get born at Crawford Long while our father made boxcars safe for hobos.

Yes, all but small college football championships with tournaments populated by more than four conference champions are, technically, mythical, but myths matter! Just ask any Georgia Bulldog or Tigers writ large. Again, Yellow Jackets are too polite to boast, even though the Georgia Institute of Technology has the most to boast about east of the Chattahoochee.

My South Carolina? Well, Spurrier is our Evil Genius now, but until we beat the SEC West in the Georgia Dome after Thanksgiving Day, I would just as soon he reserve ESPN-loved quips for the recruiting of sober quarterbacks. The USC founded in 1801 remains merely an academic school in the eyes of our Southern football brothers and sisters, but as of this date, we are tied for first in the SEC East, beat Alabama the last time we played and have won the last two meetings with teams between hedges, Volunteers and Gators.

P.S. This rooster actually loves Atlanta Braves baseball even more than our beloved Carolina Fighting Gamecocks, but we also want to one day be able to at least count to one when tabulating our Southern manhood bona fides.

College football begins when USC’s Fighting Gamecocks faces Vanderbilt’s Commodores next Thursday evening in Nashville.

[Portions originally published in Atlanta's a:Times News by G. Sand Lapper]

Mike DeVine

?One man with courage makes a majority.? ? Andrew Jackson

Atlanta Law & Politics columnist ? ?Examiner.com

Editor of ?Hillbilly Politics?and?Co-Founder and Editor of?Political Daily

Charlotte Observer and Atlanta Journal-Constitution op-eds archived at?Townhall.com.

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