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James Bond (007) explains the debt ceiling deal…

Retired British secret agent James Bond was enjoying his 3rd martini ( shaken, NOT stirred) of the evening, when prompted by his dinner companions, he recounted one of his exploits that his good friend, Ian Fleming hadn’t had time to put on paper before he died.

“I had been captured by a unit of SMERSH, and condemned to death. They took me aboard a small oil tanker, and  threw me inside an empty tank,  They sealed the hatches, turned on the pumps, and proceeded to pump sea water into the tank. So there I was. Entombed, water rushing in, pitch dark, except for the slight illumination I could get from my cigarette lighter.”

“I  was able to estimate the dimensions of the tank, and thus calculate the volume.  I took a rough guess as to the rate of flow of the water rushing in, and figured that the tank would be full in about two hours, and assuming that I was able to stay afloat until the tank was completely full, that’s when I’d be dead. Not a pleasant thought to contemplate.”

” After 30 minutes had passed, the hatch opened, and one of the SMERSH guys yelled down and said that they ‘wanted me to enjoy myself for as long as possible.’ So they were going to slow the water flow into the tank. Diabolical chaps, eh?”

“To distract myself from my impending doom, I decided to try and recalculate how long I NOW had before I was dead. My revised time of death was now in 4hrs and 15 minutes .”

Bond then stopped talking, finished his martini, signaled for another, and lit a Players.

“James,” exclaimed one of his dinner companions, “don’t leave us hanging in suspense. What happened? How’d you escape.”

“That’s just the point,” Bond said. ” I didn’t escape. I couldn’t get out. It just tooke me longer to die. But the bastards finally killed me in the end.”

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