Dishonor in Death: The Left “eulogizes” Andrew Breitbart
The body was still warm, Andrew Breitbart’s spouse and children in pain, when the Tweets started rolling in. As anyone who followed Andrew knows, he was famous for retweeting the onslaught against him–every vile, disgusting f-in this or f-you that on his account. Even in death, the onslaught persisted, and so – to honor him – I seized the mantle, retweeting and recording, on the day he died, the Left’s filth.
It wasn’t difficult–they flooded Twitter. Most came from anonymous sources, but that’s to be expected. Courage and leftism divorced long ago. What follows is malign; but necessary, I think, as a tool of understanding. This is mainstream. Andrew himself one said:
“The left has declared war on the Good and the Decent in this country, and it’s not a metaphorical war, the war is real…. If people don’t stand up, we will lose this country.”
And so we print evil. What follows is lengthy, but I think important, the numbers, because they showcase detachment and obsession in the left. All day long, all night, the venom spilled, and it’s not enough to look away, any more than it’s sufficient to fight evil with apology. Know thy enemy, Andrew advised. So, we look:
-Breaking: CNN is reporting Satan filed a lawsuit against God for sending Breitbart to Hell.
-What do you call Andrew Breitbart laying on the ground? Dead! Yes!
-I wonder what would surprise the medical examiner more–the contents of Breitbart’s stomach or his ass?
-My condolences to the mortician who has to clean Breitbart’s junk.
-To be fair, I was hoping they would have found Breitbart dead in the arms of a gay cabana boy.
-The good news; Andrew Breitbart is dead… The bad news; he didn’t die a slow painful death inside the Loch Ness Monster’s stomach.
-I wonder if they know what caused Breitbart’s death? I’m betting he died from blunt trauma to his ass.
-Anthony Weiner just tweeted a picture of himself holding his crotch and a sign that says: SUCK ON THIS, Breitbart!!
-At least Breitbart wasn’t found dead in a hotel room with a sheep next to him and a sign that said: ASSHOLE.
-Dear God, I said Rush Limbaugh, but #AndrewBreitbart will do!
-Memo to Andrew Breitbart: Fat, bigoted and angry is no way to go through life. Have fun sucking the Devil’s dick.
-If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all. Screw that…. Breitbart was a fuckhead.
-Andrew Breitbart didn’t deserve to die of a heart attack–set on fire, hit by a bus, or torn apart by polar bears sure, but not a heart attack.
-I can’t help but feel that the world is a better place today. #AndrewBreitbart’s death proves that.
-Man, I was so hoping #AndrewBreitbart would’ve been found dead at the hotel, butt greased up and a shoe sticking out from it.
-I wonder if James O’Keefe was filming Breitbart dying in the street? Hey, maybe he can edit it to look like he didn’t die.
-Breaking News: Andrew Breitbart is still dead! LOL.
-If you think my Breitbart tweets are vile, wait until Rush Limbaugh kicks the bucket. Those will be…. Legendary!
-Osama bin Laden, Gaddafi and now Breitbart…. Assholes die in threes. True story.
-Andrew Breitbart died on the street, like a homeless man, but to be fair, homeless people have dignity.
-In honor of Andrew Breitbart, the Republican Party will name a gutter after him.
-Andrew Breitbart’s Tombstone: Here Lies a Despicable Hatemonger, Burning in Hell.
-I‘m sad that Andrew Breitbart died so suddenly, I was hoping something like ass herpes would do him in.
-I guess Andrew Breitbart forgot that garbage pick-up in Brentwood is on Wednesday.
-Shhh! You hear that? Andrew Bretibart is in Hell editing Satan’s movies!
-Mmmm! My lunch tastes so good. I wonder what #AndrewBreitbart is having for lunch? I read in the Bible, Satan can cook!
-I’ll admit it, at times like this, I wish I wasn’t an atheist and believed Andrew Breitbart was getting sodomized for his bigotry.
-Yes, #AndrewBreitbart had a wife and kids, but that didn’t stop him from spewing hateful rhetoric, so, burn in Hell, asshole!
And so it went, on and on. The #AndrewBreitbart hashtag presented 1000s more. But the hate didn’t limit itself to social media. At the Daily Kos, MisterOpus1 – doubtless the name on his birth certificate – wrote a piece titled I’ll say it about Breitbart, which began:
He was a piece of shit. Period.
Just because he is now dead does not change that fact.
I know I’m supposed to be sensitive about the fact that he just died. There is always a modicum of respect that is given to those who recently pass away. That respect is accorded anyone, even those whom we do not respect.
But, I’m sorry, Breitbart doesn’t qualify. He was a complete piece of shit, full of vitriolic hate for anyone who disagreed with his views. That alone doesn’t disqualify him though. Because not only did he despise anything progressive or liberal, not only did he deliberately obfuscate and outright lie with both his words and postings, he willingly attempted and successfully destroyed lives and reputations in the process.
And the bastard loved doing it. He deserves no respect.
Matt Tabbai, editor at Rolling Stone, also penned a eulogy full of grace. The title, Andrew Breitbart: Death of a Douche, opened with the line:
So Andrew Breitbart is dead. Here’s what I have to say to that, and I’m sure Breitbart himself would respect this reaction: Good! Fuck him. I couldn’t be happier that he’s dead.
No wonder Breitbart wrote Righteous Indignation: Excuse Me While I Save the World. Everyday he saw disease in society, the evil undercarriage that drove him. That said, he concluded his book in a way that makes me smile:
I love my job, he wrote, I love fighting for what I believe in. I love having fun while doing it. I love reporting stories that the Complex refuses to report. I love fighting back, I love finding allies, and – famously – I enjoy making enemies…. Three years ago, I was a behind-the-scenes guy who linked to stuff on a popular website…. I always wondered what it would be like to enter the public realm to fight for what I believe in…. I’ve lost friends, sure…. But I’ve gained hundreds, thousands – who knows? – of allies. At the end of the day, I can look at myself in the mirror, and I sleep well at night.
Sleep well, friend. Conservatives have your back.