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Cockstradamus football and other Brave(s) 2013 prognostications

With his years-long Azores sabbatical over and Tucker (at the foot of gamecock’s Stone Mountain of Georgia roost) retirement from election predictions ongoing since the infantilization of the 2012 American electoral majority, Cockstradamus returns as DeVine Law and G. Sand Lapper’s guest end-of-year columnist for requisite annual oracle duties.

That should be “as a cigarette should”, but I digress (see #88 Dale Junior below*), but before our Ode to Leonard’s Losers and resort to pigskin prognostications  via the Smart Pill machine (and other sports visions with the rooster flying solo), we first relate the non-competitive …

Hallucinations and mirages appearing across the less Fruited (due to Obama’s re-election) Plain in A.D. 2013:

  • The total number of Americans with full-time jobs earning income sufficient to sustain the average standard of living during the Herbert Hoover/George W. Bush years will drop; but the U-3 unemployment rate will also drop as more Americans settle for the new normal food stamps and disability lifestyle, with and without Obamaphones;
  • Fracking Frackers get Fracked by Badgering oBama Bureaucrats;
  • MLK-like non-violent civil disobedience returns to America with marches by poor peoples and eschewers of morning-after abortion pill funding; periodically  interrupted by violent labor unions obedient to their Democratic Party masters or vice versa; and
  • Suzanne Collins feeds Hungry fans more Games.

Cockstradamus and the Smart Pill machine say:

  • Mountaineers will lose to Orange in Bronx Pinstripes
  • Beavers will lose to Longhorns in Mack’s last stand at the Alamo
  • Wolfpack will lose to Commodores in Music City
  • Clemson eats more beef but loses to Other Death Valley Tigers over a Chick-fil-A sandwich in Georgia Dome
  • Bulldogs will lose to Wildcats in Gator Bowl
  • Outback, Wolverines suffer chickin’ lickin, lose to Ole Ball Coach’s USC Fighting Gamecocks
  • Huskers will lose to Dawgs in Orlando’s Capital One Bowl
  • Wisconsin gets badgered Cardinal red in Rose Bowl
  • Wildcats fail to Duck, lose to Oregon in Fiesta Bowl
  • Johnny A&M football will lose to Sooners football in Cotton Bowl Classic
  • Irish fight for Jesus, score a touchdown but get rolled by a Crimson Tide somewhere in Florida
  • Packers will lose to Falcons in NFC Championship game
  • Colts will lose to Broncos in AFC Championship Game
  • Peyton’s Denver horses get dirty while will losing to Atlanta’s clean birds in the Super Bowl

Cockstradamus sans Smart Pill machine says:

  • Hoosiers win March Madness, record movie sequel in Indiana
  • Heat lose NBA Championship to Thunder
  • Stanley’s Cup rusts
  • National League wins MLB All-Star Game
  • Angels lose halo and World Series to Braves tomahawk chop in seven in Atlanta
  • Gamecocks win third College World Series in last three years
  • Junior wins first Sprint (fka Winston) Cup  Championship*

Cock-a-doodle-do and Happy New Year!

G. Sand Lapper aka

Mike DeVine

“One man with courage makes a majority.” – Andrew Jackson

Editor – Hillbilly Politics

Co-Founder and Editor – Political Daily

Atlanta Law & Politics columnist – Examiner.com

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