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If I were John Boehner

Here's what I'd do

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to this press conference on such short notice. You were told that there is a deal regarding the fiscal cliff, and that is correct. The deal is what President Obama signed last year. Taxes are going up on everyone, and the mandatory cuts will take effect. In light of this, I am sure all of you will be covering for President Obama. Please call him while he is on vacation, and tell him you have his back. He already knows this, but will appreciate hearing it just the same.”

The simple fact is we have had no plan from the White House. We have had no input from the Senate. And we have had nothing but empty promises from Tim Geitner. We have been busy negotiating with ourselves, and that stops today. I am adjourning the House, and sending the members home to explain three things.

1) If you insist on more government spending, you will need to realize that your taxes will go up. Period. If you elect Democrats, your taxes will go up. Period.

2) The House Republicans will no longer be a part of this pathetic and gutless effort to make our children and grandchildren pay for the greed and irresponsibility of Big Government. Obama’s projection of deficits into eternity are not sustainable, and they are immoral. Period. If you think that is the path of prosperity, vote for Democrats.

3) Speaking of immorality, government has intervened to counteract bad decisions by individuals, businesses, states and municipalities for too long. The erosion of our national character has resulted in the situation in which we find ourselves. The House Republicans have decided if there is pain to be borne, we will bear it now so our children have a future. Anything otherwise would be cowardice of unprecedented proportion.

I won’t take any questions, because there shouldn’t be any. Even though you will not report the truth, history will bear witness to it. I would advise all of you to get your asses on a plane to Hawaii, or Chicago, or whatever golf course the President is playing today, and ask him why he is uninterested in the job he so desperately wanted.

I will call the House back into session when the Senate presents a budget, and not before then.

Good day.”

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