The Media Guide to Assault Weapons
The media seems to be having some trouble figuring out what is and is not an assault weapon. With all attention turned to the subject, those who recording history as it happens need an accurate guide as to what is and what is not an assault weapon. With the freedom of access to information in mind, I have come up with the definitive list of what is an assault weapon. With this in mind, our government can better regulate it.
1. Bushmaster .223
- This looks scary. Let’s add it.
- You are now remembering Goldeneye 64.
- I expect the government to seize this post just because of this gun.
4. Submachine Gun
- A sleek weapon of mass destruction.
5. Automatic Pistol
- A favorite of cartels and crime show villains.
6. Gatling Gun
- Going old school here.
7. Gatling… Shotgun?
- I… was just typing shit into Google. Someone actually designed this?!
8. Rocket Launcher
- It’s like I’m a mini tank!!!
9. The Needler
- Best gun from Halo. Also tremendously scary-looking and thus should be banned.
10. Lord Voldemort
- He’s killed a lot of children, too.
11. The Batman
- He doesn’t need all that money, anyhow. We’ll seize it, too.
12. Rush Limbaugh
- You know you want to, American Left.
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