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Don’t RUN Sarah!!!*

Sarah Palin just needs to give up running for President. I mean c’mon! The polls show she can’t possibly win, they even show that Iowans don’t want her to run! I mean, doesn’t she realize that being a leader means following every single poll that people put out there? Plus, why vote for Sarah, when you’ve got such a stellar conservative like Rick Perry! I mean he’s great on jobs, he’s great on spending, tort reform… Sure, he’s got some shaky positions on immigration and executive power, but who cares? He’s one of us!

Sarah couldn’t even do an interview with Katie Couric! I mean, she couldn’t even name a single book she had read! Have you ever tried to watch one of her Fox News interviews? It’s like watching nails on a chalkboard! It’s terrible! I can’t even watch her! I just turn to CNN whenever she comes on Fox. I just get annoyed every time I see her!

And now she wants people to watch a movie about her career? Is she kidding? How many people have time to sit there and watch a movie about her! I sure as hell don’t. We know what happened up in Alaska! She got elected, people liked her because she was the first woman governor, she got picked to be VP, and after the election she quit her job as Governor of Alaska to go and make money…

Speaking of money, that’s another reason she shouldn’t run for president. She’s making a boat load of money right now… I mean she’s got that cushy Fox gig where all she has to go is show up. She writes books (none of which I can even stomach to skim through when I pick them up) and they sell like hot cakes! Why would she ever want to give any of that up? I mean it’s not like she’s got a sense of duty and service, she quit her job in Alaska.

Oh, and did I mention the polling? There’s no way she’d ever win. EVER. And if you think she could beat Barack Obama, you’ve got absolutely ZERO sense. Look at the numbers 50-33? HOLY CRAP!

Rick Perry 2012! And when we find something we don’t like about Rick Perry (similarly to how we did with Mitch Daniels) we’ll find someone else! But let’s just avoid Sarah Palin. She says somethings that are good, but people don’t like her! Let’s make sure she stays in her place!

 

*This post is a parody of posts bashing Sarah Palin by conservative writers who often sound as dimwitted as this post is.

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