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Noah II: The Wrath of Cain

Even Bad Movies deserve 'Good' Sequels

WARNING! The following should not be read whilst eating or drinking, driving, or operating heavy machinery

(I wish I could claim credit for this, but this is a work by my very good friend, ‘Kenzo’, with his permission he allowed me to post it, ‘enjoy’)

Noah II: The Wrath of Cain

Having read Red State’s detailed description of Darren Aronofsky’s Noah, it’s clear that this brilliant sci-fi comedy action adventure sex spectacle deserves a sequel, so here’s my version!
Like Aronofsky, I’ve written the following without regard for any contradictions to, or inconsistencies with, the original story.
When the disappointed ‘creator’ suddenly decides to destroy Earth and start over on Mars, Noah builds another arc, this one a spaceship, built with the assistance of a team of scientists and engineers from Atlantis, who decide to make a small fleet of space arcs, or starcs–as many as allowed by the available resources–to save as many people as possible, each starc carrying a supply of animal DNA from which the saved species can be recreated once the starcs reach their destination, Venus, where the survivors hopefully will be ignored by the ‘creator’.
Unfortunately, Cain and his followers take over one of the starcs and attack Noah’s vessel, leading to an exciting one-on-one dog fight.
Cain is defeated, naturally, but as he dies he activates his starc’s Exodus Device, a previously unmentioned terraforming unit that in space will–

Aw, forget it.

© 2014 KenzoCo Ugenkaisha

(I promise to have more serious posts in the future)

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