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Dope, Taxes and Dogs

Massachusetts Ballot Initiatives

Hey, if you’re smart and can get into MIT, you don’t want your life ruined by a criminal conviction for marijuana possession. It’s sooooo expensive. And let’s face it, even if you lose 20 IQ points because of your toking habits, you’ll still be at least a standard deviation ahead of the rest of the poor schlubs who are going to wash your car. Plus, you really do need to unwind after that exam in your frosh Quantum class. The Schrödinger equations are a bey-otch.

If you’d like to know why Massachusetts is the way it is, have a look at the MIT student newspaper’s voting advice on this year’s ballot initiatives here in Massachusetts. Here we have some of the smartest people in the entire country giving their hearfelt advice to some of the dumbest:

Without saying how I voted on these (I’ll leave that up to your vivid imaginations), three of the ballot initiatives in this election were pretty surrealistic when taken together:

The questions were:

1) Should we effectively decriminalize marijuana possession in amounts of an ounce or less and instead give a $100 penalty?

2) Should we lower the state income tax from 5.3% to 2.65% and eliminate it completely in 2010?

3) Should we shut down the two dog racing tracks in Massachusetts?

MIT’s students exhort each other to vote to keep the higher taxes and decriminalize the dope, but save the dogs. More dope, high taxes, just don’t hurt the pooches! They cite research from a 1993 article in the Journal of Social Studies The Social Sciences Journal as their evidence on why people need more dope with less penalty, along with keeping the taxes high. They claim that it is the criminalization of dope-smoking that leads people to use marijuana as a gateway drug. Well, as I’ve said: the hyperintelligent just don’t want to be bothered with getting busted, since they know they’re going to have jobs no matter what.

High taxes, more dope for the masses, and be kind to animals: That’s the wisdom MIT is now espousing through its student newspaper. It’s little wonder that America is going to be dependent on Russia for access to space.

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