Top Ten Ways MA Is Honoring Edward M. Kennedy
On the solemn occasion of Senator Edward Kennedy’s untimely passing from terminal brain cancer, I thought I’d liven up the discussion a little with a good, old fashioned Top Ten list of the ways Massachusetts will be honoring the life and work of the Liberal Lion of the Senate:
10. Raise the state sales tax by an additional 3% “just for old times’ sake.”
9. Harvard University officially grants every incoming student one free opportunity to cheat on an exam, be expelled and then reinstated.
8. State Legislature, working with officials in Washington, officially designates the land area of Massachusetts as “The Edward M. Kennedy National Political Reservation” and charges every resident an additional $500/yr. surtax to live on the grounds.
7. Legislature establishes a “Cash for Hooch” program that allows all MA residents to exchange up to 1/2 gallon of crappy liquor for the finest whiskey on the shelf.
6. Free legal services: If any bonafide resident of the Commonwealth is involved in a car accident involving a fatality, the State will pay for the modern day equivalents of Robert McNamara, Arthur Schlesinger and Ted Sorensen to write letters on their behalf and craft a legal defense.
5. In Flagrante Delicto public fornication now permitted in restaurants by State decree every August 26th.
4. “Be A Kennedy” program: In order to guarantee that there will be an adequate supply of Kennedys to continue the family dynasty, all MA residents of legal age may now apply to change their surname to “Kennedy.” Applications will be carefully reviewed and upon approval, new members of the family will be given one year of political counseling by liberal Democrat consultants.
OK folks, I gave you #10 through #4, it’s up to you to come up with 3, 2 and 1. Please keep it humorous and (mostly) civil.