Listen, we don’t want any unstable perons influencing millions of people at a time in America. Because they might be dangerous, to themselves or others.
We don’t seem to have any problems with Oprah Winfrey, though, who admits she ate 30 pounds of macaroni and cheese after having been trounced by “Bride of Chucky” in its opening weekend.
“I ate about 30 lbs. worth,” she tells Morgan. “I’m not kidding, I’m not kidding.” Wow, that’s a lot of mac and cheese. Was it Kraft, at least?
Winfrey herself is now competing with former jailbird Martha Stewart for cable television viewers, and the last I heard, Oprah is slimming down again to get back into the fight against the Hallmark Channel. The main reason is that Martha doesn’t mind bringing every gay dude in the nation who knows how to make silk flowers and toasted desserts (like women used to do) on to her program. It’s a big question whether or not Winfrey will be able to shed her pounds and bring those boys onto her network without real trouble from Steadman.
Winfrey is one of the most influential people in the Universe and let’s face it folks, all she has to do is shed a skin cell with your name on it and you’re doomed. Forever! She’s the Chocolate Bulldozer!
But listen: recently she’s decided that American television is a Vast Wasteland. This, after having done more to create it than any other single human being on the face of the earth in the past quarter century.